Uncomplicated Mental Health Issues...

So, I know I need to get help. I have read the stories and seen "stronger" people than me, people with all kinds of things going for them, "come out" as having depression. I guess I have been on this path off and on since 2000, when I was very close to being fired from a job I hated and ended up on the sidelines for a brief time that summer.
But I did find another job, which I loved and was a good fit until things changed a bit and I moved on to another interesting job (in advertising sales) where I was selling and managing others. I had some nice successes, but after getting some good advice, I determined, after taking a battery of tests, that being in sales and always worrying about the "bottom line" wasn't going to make me happy. It made me money, but the stress was crushing.

So, I went back to school to receive a Masters in Library Science. Which puts me where I am today. I'm a husband, a parent, a homeowner and employed in a career that I took a substantial risk to jump into. I go to bed most nights with the realization that this is probably the best that it will get and that I have very little to look forward to. Thanks to my horrible timing, I was out of work soon after getting the degree and that didn't help. I thought once I started working in my field, I could get back to some sort of "normal" and things would look up. But it's become worse.

So, I started exercising and I have adopted a vegetarian lifestyle. I've lost over twenty-five pounds and I'm looking better physically. But as Bob Dylan sang several years ago, "You really can't hide, when you're crippled inside." I've realized that you do have to approach this issue from the inside out.

Still, I'm working and I'm a husband and father and have "all the things that should make one happy" in life. And yet I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm a bit of a failure in life. It's tough in a society that judges you based on what you make and what you do. I'm easily the least successful person in my family or my wife's family. And it shows. It's hard not to compare, especially when that's the message we get day in and day out. I came from advertising, so I should know better, but it's worked itself into my DNA.

I know I need help. My workplace has a service that we can access and it kind of made me smile because it reads "Uncomplicated mental health issues." I've never heard of such a thing. However, I will get help somehow.