Indulgence

Have read some of the comments on here and wanted to post. I am fighting the same as everyone. I tend to have good days where the drinking doesnt start till 5. I call those days work days. I spend many a weekend at work just to give myself something to do and to feel valued. I was married and went through a violent and messy breakup. I lost out on everything but managed to keep my job. Who were quite helpful and respectful of what was going on. Whilst I dont think about dying so much, I think the drugs I am taking which are prescribed just keep me floating up above the keel. I just wish they would silence Peter and Paul since they talk all night long about everything and its like having a soap opera in my head at night. Then I reliase I am talking to myself and the soap opera is my life. To combat everything I purposefully put myself into a position of stupidity. Right now I am embarking on an affair with a married woman. Even though this was how it ended my marriage with my wife doing the same. I wish someone would hand me a copy of lifebook so I can see how the last page reads.


 


It may give me incentive to read the whole book from the beginning.

insomnia2007 insomnia2007
26-30, M
1 Response Dec 30, 2006

Hey man I feel your pain but you should really stop abusing yourself, and alcohol is poisen so find another vice..like chocolate or sum thing. You need to get out of the rut your in by getting some confidence and self esteem..have you tried any kind of therapy? do you like sport? You need to get out of your head sometimes and in to your body, we all have our fears but we must not let them consume us. You're strong. Fight Back and take control. Peace