Clinical Depression and Life's Litte Jabs

For a long time, I was depressed and didn't know it. Several years ago, my doctor presribed an anti-depressant.  It worked great for a while, but it just seems that sometimes life events are such that I just can't seem to get happy.  I cry alot.  Mostly because I live alone with my 4 cats and my dog, which isn't the same as coming home to a real live caring person everyday.  I'm been married for 21 years, but my husband and I haven't lived in the same house since 1993.  He has a drinking problem and I can't be around him very much because he's not a nice or funny drunk.  My daughter, whom I love dearly, is going to move half a continent away next year.  It feels like desetion even though that's not what she intends.  Worse yet, she will be taking my only grandson, whom I adore.  I'm afraid that he is going to grow up without me and it hurts alot.  I work a lot, so I don't have a lot of free time.  Most of the things I like to do either require money(books, live music and movies), which I don't have, or other people(playing bridge), whom I don't know.  On top of everything else, I've spent so much timearound my husband, that I don't like the person I am when I'm around him, and am contemplating a divorce.  At my age, 56, the prospects of me finding someone else to share my life with seem pretty slim.  The women in my family live a very long time and I just don't want to spend the rest of my life being alone.

lnaschke lnaschke
56-60, F
2 Responses Jun 20, 2007

I feel for you. Depression is the worse feeling in the world. I'm sorry you're so alone. I too have been there and it's not pleasant in any way. <br />
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Do you think you could try to go to the movies for a matinee, it's cheaper? Or is there a night that it's cheaper than other nights? There are some theatres where I am that are cheaper than others. Is that perhaps an option? <br />
Books you can borrow from the library or get at the second hand stores or used book store. I love my library card! <br />
In so far as bridge, I'm sure if you look around there are bridge pla<x>yers around. You could start your own.<br />
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I'm sorry about your daughter. When my son left it was pure torture. I know he had to go, but he was all I had. All I ever had. It hurt and I missed him so much my life felt empty. Hang in there. You will be in touch via phone and internet, and perhaps visits. <br />
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She may need to do this to fulfill her own life and destiny. At some point would it be feasible to move close to her? <br />
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Well that's my helping notions. Hope it helps.<br />
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Take good care of yourself.

Don't get divorce and try to figure out together how to deal with each other. Accept your husband and drink a beer with him. don't let your doughter go, talk to her! She has to stay. TEll her how you feel and that you wil be alone, she has to understand that you are just a smal family.