Happy?

Have been depressed for about 8 months. Hate to admit that I am saddened over a guy dumping me..via email. A real creep-unattractive on the inside and outside. Problem is that even with all the aware-ness(es) about our insuitability...I cannot seem to get over "it". Hate to blame my sadnes over something so trivial but that is the reality. This depression is really affecting my life, job, familial realtionships; fearful of dating...fearful of meeting some other guy who will dump me. Don't even want to leave my house. Lastly, feel like it would be better if I just had a breakdown. Am tired of being unhappy.

Am not actually battling depression; any suggestions??

 

Am

 

 

 

 

 

 

ness

thinkthatiwanthappiness thinkthatiwanthappiness
46-50, F
1 Response Jun 24, 2007

When my "honey" left me 9 years ago, I curled up in a fetal position for about 6 months. There was no closure, I was left "a widow with no benefits" except he was still alive in another state in my motor home and with another person. I wrote many songs, poems, talked a lot to my support group - his sister and to many others. Got the book "In The Meantime" by Ilyana VanZant - read it. But, that "non closure" thing is haunting forever. I now think he was running from himself - he had a quintuple bypass the next year - perhaps he felt a heart attack coming? Any excuse to get over it is better than hanging onto it. I can forgive him now because I found him an excuse. I am definitely "gun shy" as far as other relationships are concerned. I also feel that this 9 years has helped me learn to love myself more which is necessary in order to change the type of person that is attracted to me.