Im Fighting a Battle Where It Seems I Cant Win.

Everyday of my life i wake up and suit up my armor in order to face the day. Lately ive been feeling like i should just leave the chest plate that proctects my so called heart out and just let life hack the rest of it away. Although with what i have i have good days.. but they dont really last that long. And right now.. i wish i had the jean jacket pharmacist other then the white coat one. I have had this condition for 7 years now and i cant handle anything anymore. I just wanna give up to be honest. Everytime i find something or someone that makes me really happy everything goes wrong. I get surrounded by alcoholics and drung addicts and i cant do anything about it. Right now im dealing with this situation. I live with my common law wife and son and everyday people show up here drunk or high on something and i cant turn them away cause its not really my place to do so. Ive been laid off of work and i cant provide a secure life for my loved ones.  The reason im writing now is because i need to know if anyone really knows or understands what is going on. Cause right now the only thing that calmed me down was physical pain because its only temporary and its like i could watch the posions of this mental condition run out.  I  havent slept properly in days and i dont know what to do. I tried to go seek help at a hospital and just got passed to the side and down graded several times. Canada supposed to have a good health care system, yet i waited 18 hours once again for absolutely nothing. I really just want to give up. My life has become **** since i got diagnosed with this condition. I lost my dreams.. my children...my hopes for a family of my own. everything. Im just gonna go cause this is making me even worse.. sorry if this is bringing any of you readers down..but sometimes even a wolf needs help too.
Wolven Wolven
26-30, M
3 Responses Jul 9, 2007

This conditiion you are speaking of, could you be cutting to relieve your pain? if so please try to get profesional help, there are good support groups and other help. please keep in touch with me i care

my thoughts are with both of you.

my thoughts are with both of you.