Stuck In the Middle of Nothing

I feel I have been shafted since I was born. Everything that seems to be going well turns into crap. I have had a major set back everytime. It all started when I was 6. Somthing bad happen to me at school. I do not remeber what it was. Since that day or time my life has been not very good. Even though I try. After the incedent I suffferd from school phobia. I was finnaly diagnosed with it 5 years later. Scared everyday I went to school. Being forced and treatend. When they finaly diagnosed me with it I pretty much hated everyone. But I got help.( meds and home schooled) Again this was before they have all this extra stuff for kids that go through it. I missed it about 5 years. haha

Home school sucked. I had great teachers. But the whole staying home by myself for the whole day and telling myself to do home work was hell. I started to become more introverted. Never talking to anyone. And then I was diagnosed with social phobia. Yea more pills... I hate pills. And that seem to be there cure. What really makes me angry is if I did not have this problem I could have taken college courses by the time I turned 16. (It wasfor math as you can see it was not for my grammer) But since I could not go to any kind of learning instiute, I was screwed.

And thats where depression and my last phobia comes in. Agrophobia. Since I was stuck at home doing home  all day,I just started to get to complacent. I quit school. Could not take teaching my self for the most part. Since the teacher was there for an hour. I tried to get jobs but I did not last long. I would panick and just quit.

Now Iam stuck. And Iam looking for an awnser. Thats why Iam trying this. I try to keep a good outlook on life. Buts its getting harder everyday.

Draken Draken
2 Responses Dec 27, 2008

I'm in the same boat. The few times it's felt like things were going right, it all turns to crap in a major way. All I've got experience of is failing. I really can't remember a success. Even in sport, if I win, I basicly get told not to do it again because it ****** someone-or-another off. And there's never any support, or encouragment. Always have to do things, and go places, alone. So even when I win, I fail.

depression is a hard thing to deal with. what you really need now is counciling. Im saying dont stop taking medication but try to see if you can find some kind of counciling. Also try making friends. Whether its online or in real life. Talking to someone can really make all the difference. If you need someone to talk to I am here.