How I Feel

I've been this way for as long as I can remember

I lack motivation; I feel tired, drained, negative...

I would stop being depressed if I went out, socialised, excercised, got some more hobbies, formed healthy relationships with normal people... but can do none of this because of my lack of motivation.

its a vicious cycle.

I'm not only unmotivated, but unsure of what it is I really want to be. I have no goals, no idea how to get goals, no idea what I want to do or how to do it.

I feel completely lost which in turn makes me feel worse which in turn makes me feel more unmotivated and helpless.

I've reached a point in therapy where I'm so depressed (I assume you get worse before you get better) that I'm on medication that I wasn't on before, and have gone up to 225mg of effexor just so that I don't feel like ****.

its my temporary aid to helping myself get better.

I just don't feel like I'm improving sometimes.

and now that I've lost my job I've been reminded of just how stagnant my life has become and how clueless I am.
sadfishes sadfishes
22-25, F
5 Responses Jul 31, 2007

I am glad to reads you all message in this forums, <br />
thanks god I learn some good think from you all

There may be no greater crushing feeling than when you realise that your illness not only makes you feel terrible, but is affecting your future as well as your present. I am going through pretty much the same thing you are and with no end in sight, it's beginning to overpower me. If it hasn't already.

Totally feel the SAME way!!!!! I am glad I am not alone.... I am convinced I have A.D.D. and I serious short term memory issue.... its weird-- my brain "wanders" alot... Sad-- I realize I will NEVER be all I can be...

same here. lifes a struggle, makes you wonder why you bother at all at times. so much easier to just hide from it. whats wrong with that , eh? its still a life, even though its only in your head. i dunno, it is nasty though.

i felt like this in the past.... but i was always thinking that one day i would feel better. just believe that this is not forever. you will get over your problems, you will not be like this forever. just give yourself time....