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Is Numbness a Sign of Depression?

hello to everyone, ive suffered from depression in the past i think part of me has accepted that its part of my makeup, u have good periods and bad periods like everyone else but ours is different, its like a black cloud that appears suddenly or can take a long time to appear, ive always known when im going into a depression but now im not so sure, i dont feel angry, sad or upset  and i cant feel the "black cloud"i can still laugh and be happy but all of the time i feel a numbness no matter who im with or what im doing, i also feel unable to love, which is a scary thought for some people but for me i just feel numb about it all, i was just hoping other people out there know exactly how it feels and id like to chat about it more, x

LeeAnn LeeAnn 26-30, F 70 Responses Jul 31, 2007

Your Response


Hi I think you may have Histornic pd or going nadcicistic I'm not really sure or maybe it could me a medication or something your on maybe see a physcologist or physiatrist try find a good one in your area its best to get help soon I hope you start to feel better :)

hello leeann me his adultbaby 247 so will you please chat with me friend baby glencoe2

I don't know what's wrong with me...I feel isolated. I have no close friends, no significant other, I don't even feel like my family is there for me...

I'm the same unfortunately and I'm worried that the love part will affect my relationships because some days, the depression numbs my love for him which makes me impatient with him.

Hi here I am and I think I know a lots of what you mean. And as said I think there´s no other way than facing the feelings and trying to undo the stories we tell ourselves about it. I guess is it. And seek help and also try some distraction avoid thinking and talking about that all the time

Yeah. the way you described it sounds like me. I can be happy and laugh and yet feel numb inside all the time. Very innocent looking but I have a mask behind my expression where I have a straight emotionless face. I only do this dark expression face when I'm alone. Sometimes, I would show it out in public because I can't help myself to feel that way.

Jimbo~;-)Most of us are like that. It's from our upbringing & societal exposure as well. When we show our real emotions we get blasted, inside the home from family & outside from others w/families who had as we did. I finally come to the conclusion a few years ago, it’s not dysfunctional family’s it the norm! Now if we can detach ourselves from the lies of who we really & truly are and be honest & accept others as we want to be accepted as showing our real feelings, then it’s a new beginning of a peaceful existence. I been saying to all, you know what/who u are & what/who u are not…BE! Is all.!!!! They are going to talk about you/me/us anyways so be what/who you are & want to be~
I felt so much love for my children, so I kissed & told them I loved them in public, I didn’t hide how I felt. When I go out now I see others following what I did, see if we show them w/action & display love who wins? I never seen anyone do it before, but now I do…u can’t hide love, love is all there is. W/out it, we’d parish!

it sounds similar to what I go through sometimes...thoughts go through my head like, "You don't love anyone, you are incapable of love." I do not think they are true, but sometimes it feels like it...

Wut I can tell u that none of us are suppose 2b happy 24/7 all our lives. We aren't to be happy/sad, just be! We are here to create & experience our world/life as it was intended, YEE are GOD/S! A property’s of our creator constantly changing...That’s it! The ISness is always changing/expanding as our thoughts create all worlds. Happiness is on us & how we react to all things, we are only thoughts of each other, experience & we R here to create. Pain is enviable, suffering is optional. You were given the 7senses,eat, sleep, see, hear touch/feel...all with a fantastic mind to run the magnificent machine etc. I say there are more senses, but science is all some ppl want 2 believe in.
You can compare u life to another/other who hasn't much time here, one w/out legs etc. You heard all that b4_let me tell u this though if u were in the middle of the Ocean w/out a lifeboat/raft u'd cry to the heavens for your life! So do know your in a safe place w/all u need to live & be happy. Think about that ok? You miracle's happened, now use the saving tools i give u here~♥~U R never alone>>

We all are created with love & with perfect spirit & the vessels that houses it_we/you can do/be anything/one u want 2b!!! !Magnificent machines w/all the essences & equipped w/a computerized/perfect mind wow! Huh? What do u think about that? You are MAGNIFICENT & can Conquer Anything..move the dam walls that confine u & set you FREE!


Many of us have been harmed & then some, we survive & know ppl who do this are sick as well. THEY give what was given to them. Wise ones know we don't hurt others just because! Forgiveness gives u back your power, you never owned that what was done to you, so don't use it & feed into it.

Never let them own you by throwing in the towel w/your own life & how it makes you feel. Live dam it! That’s the best dam revenge any of us can have...stop doing that_it's trash that needz 2 burn, it lightens your load..It’s so unnecessary to have to carry heaviness. Right all down that pains you... burn & bury it. Believe me you_it really works. It's mental healing~

"DON'T COMAPRE YOUR INSIDES TO EVERYONE'S OUTSIDES" They will fool u as you do them., it's their THOUGHTS & you don't own anyone really going to like what we do? Approve? Of course not that's why we have free wills, it’s not right nor wrong, it’s just our thoughts. So if knowingly knowing, don’t harm anyone/thing b/c it comes back that way, positive/negative...this is why polarity was created/out it no divide we wouldn't know the difference on right wrong, they’d be nothing to compare one or the other to/with & we'd not be here discussion this or be even...

Except the things you can not change, change the things you can and have the courage & wisdom to know the diff~

I needed to add--When we feel’ we are going CrAzY it’s just stress, we don’t have to fight the whole world, that alone shd alleviate pressure, isn’t this a relief?
Need nothing. Desire everything. Choose what shows up. Feel your feelings. . . . Yet when all the emotion is done, be still and know that we will always have help if we simple ask~

We will claim blame & beat the crap out of ourselves so dam needlessly! Stop doing that! Not failures, just leaning tools my sweets, how else would we learn if we didn't make what we & others call mistakes. No mistakes, just leaning tools..k? This is how we find courage & strength~

Ive woke up this morning feeling that I cant face today, not in a suicidal way but that I havent got the energy. It was inevitable with my family history that I would end up battling depression myself. I am riddled with guilt about how I bring up my kids, but then on good days I feel like a good mum. I have three small children, none of which was I was postnatally depressed with. IfI anything it gave me an amazing feeling of responibilty, but this of course fades. I am on my own with them all the time and I feel some days I could just walk out the door and just keep walking. I also feel numb, like nothing anyone can say or do will snap me out of it......almost like im being stubborn, but im genuinely not. Its not just the kids, even before I had them I was always suffering. A lot has happened in my past which has lead me here today, the majority of which I have suffered alone. I dont know what to do anymore, i just want my kiddies to have a memorablle chldhood, for the right reasons and not treading on egg shells all their life in fear of upsetting me. I really dont know where to go from here

thank you all for your responses things are so much better with medication and therapy things can get better - i will always be on the lookout for those returning symptoms but until then smile when you can and use your support networks when necessary :-) xx if any one ever wants to chat just send me a message x

which medication and how did they go about therapy?

*sorry nervous breakdown not pressure period*


I'm sorry your suffering, I know exactly how you feel. I feel exactly the same, a complete numbness, inability to feel good or bad things and a feeling of being locked inside myself. It's definitely a sign of depression. For me I know it s result of things being unresolved, but I feel like I can't get to what it is that I need to resolve. So I feel like I've just shut down. Antidepressants definitely create a flattening effect too which in my experience makes you numb. I first had the numbness following a really awful stressful need pressure period and i
guess i feel like I'm too scared to feel.

S x

I would love to chat. I always seem like I have so much to say but none of it ever comes out the way I want it to. For the past 7 years of my life, I've felt a numbness. Its on and off, like sometimes I'm legitimately happy and then other times I'm really depressed. There's a story behind it but I'd rather not post it on a public post. We should chat.


Hi, I found this guys on Youtube, he has a lot of videos that can help ! his name is Momo<br />
look him up, Momo from TheMomoZone, you can even send him a question :)

I know EXACTLY what you mean. Sorry, I'm not up for chatting - but I wanted you to know that others get this same feeling at times. I urge you to recognise you ARE going into a depressive phase and to get help for it. {{{hugs}}}

I have also found caffeine to be a factor how I feel. I have been on and off of caffeine for long periods a couple of times. This time after five years without caffeine I consciously decided to resume using caffeine following the loss of my health insurance. Caffeine seems to help with my ADHD, but I will eventually give it up again because of its addictive properties and emotional effects, even though the ADHD will worsen unless I can hold out until I can get insurance. I certainly agree that if you use caffeine you need to study the issues.

Coffee ,coca-cola and everything with caffeine in it was making me feel depressed and numb and uninterested for everything and everybody . Same with chocolate . Since I stopped consuming those , about 6 months ago, things slowly started to get better . It was not easy to get off those things and I failed few times but now I am completely clean . I have small pizza store and before I would always wash, clean and prepare things for next working day in last possible moment because I was always depressed and numb ,so only when it was absolute must I would do things that were needed to be done . Since I stopped consuming things that have caffeine in it I feel so much happier and do everything that needs to be done right after busy hours are over and I am getting more and more busy and customers and people I meet smile to me more than ever before....or it is just me noticing now . Tea is same as coffee for me...even if it is suposedly tea without caffeine . It was extremely hard to do it but now I drink only water . And I do not believe in God in Bible terms but I agree with allissaxx who posted before me.

ive felt the extreme sadness of depression. now im just numb & uncharacteristically indifferent. i think i spent so much time trying to protect myself from the pain that ive gone too far in the other direction.

Sounds like dythsmia to me. Low level depression that buzzes along in the background all the time making you feel "wrong". With the wrong person, in the wrong place, doing the wrong things in your life, everything feels like it must be better but you can't figure out how or why.<br />
<br />
Dythsmia will eventually blow up whenyou face a major negative life event and you'll remember all that time with dythsmia as OK times.<br />
<br />
You need treatment, and now. Believe me, you do not want to go through the deep depression that will follow in time if you do nothing about it.<br />
<br />
Act now while you can and it's still manageable and treatable. You don't know why do you? Therapy will help you find your answers. You wonder about these things a lot of the time. Why, when, how, what? Right? But you don't know the answers.

I know exactly how you... well how you don't feel. I've felt numb since about 6th grade. Happiness and Laughter seem so normal, but everything else is just nonexistent. I'm in 9th grade now. I've never been depressed, and I don't take medication for anything. I hope your question gets answered... I'd really help me to. :)

I know exactly how you... well how you don't feel. I've felt numb since about 6th grade. Happiness and Laughter seem so normal, but everything else is just nonexistent. I'm in 9th grade now. I've never been depressed, and I don't take medication for anything. I hope your question gets answered... I'd really help me to. :)

I feel that numbness to, I can have a very fun time laughing and being with my friends, but I feel numb, I thought it wasn't normal til I read this, I'm in 8 th grade, felt it since 6th, when I got depressed for the first time, so far, it's always in the back of my mind, I can only feel my emotions to a certain degree, I can't take meds, since I'm 13, but I just want the numbness to go away, or to not be able to feel my emotions at all, I know it's strange to say that, but it's true, I don't want to be able to feel sad, or angry, or even happy, I just want to feel... Loved

The numbness... stays. i've been diagnosed with depression for over 15 years, and that unfeeling is always there. It was probably my first symptom, i think, although i didn't realise what it was at the time.

are we talking psychic numbness or the addicto-depressive condition? I need a answer from you all first off.

I know how you feel. The numbness hit me like a train today, out of nowhere. Something triggered a memory of the last time I was happy, truly happy, without the meds, without the 'crazy' label. I lost it. I cried for 45 minutes and since that I've just been numb. The numbness is never good for me, it usually precipitates a visit to the Dr. to look at my presc<x>riptions again. sigh. <br />
<br />
I wish you all the best.

Ok, I'm sorry GhostMagic but you have no idea what you're talking about when you say depression isn't a big thing. You even said it yourself, you're not even depressed. Some people get so depressed that their body begins to shut down. I know someone's Dad that was so depressed that his body began to actually shut down, and then he shot himself. Does that not sound like a big thing to you?<br />
<br />
LeeAnn; Numbness to me is a sign of depression, but it's not TOO bad yet. You should still try to do something about it though. Surround yourself with friends that make you laugh. Try to stop and think about how wonderful life can be and how lucky you are to be here to enjoy it. I know it's hard, I have problems like yours too. And I know this is probably dumb, but watch "American Beauty" That movie really gave me a new outlook on things. :P

The only time I've experienced numbness is when I'm dealt such a great blow of sadness that my body can't quite comprehend of undertake it, and it just cancels out all emotion in my for a while, so I can cope with the sadness little by little. I'm not sure if this helps or not.

I have bipolar disorder. I feel depression/pain/numbness... all these things i fell to a deeper extent than the normal person. (i also get manic where i'm high/really happy) anyways i totally understand what you are saying. some people are hyper sensitive to emotions. really the only people who understand what you are saying are those people like us who feel the pain deep within our souls. for the normal person to say i know what you're talking about... they have no ideas. i'm always here if you need a friend who understands. It's not easy but there are ways to help.

I have felt that way, I could keep on with my daily activities but I felt like a robot, I started eating a lot gained some weight became even more depressed, I became sort of bulimic always feeling the need to loose weight I couldn't sleep until I had enough I went to the psychologist, than I was sent to psychitrist, my diagnosis was dysthymia I was prescribed antidepressants tried many of them, I saw the light on prozac but deep inside I feel guilt because I know is a falacy, my happines is not real, I am scared I even started manipulating my doctor to give me more meds, I feel lost, in mexico both of the drugs can be bought without presc<x>ription, I just don't know if I need them, I feel weak becase I cannot fight my insecurities without this meds.<br />
I just wander what will happen once I stop using them, I am scared of the side effects of these medication, they mess with your brain.<br />
Be STRONG don't take the easiest path, it only makes things harder, nothing is real you are just hiding from your problems instead overcoming them, you have no idea much I regret my desicion, I am scared of not beign accepted as the quiet shy girl, I am scared of gaining weight if I stop the treatment, I am scared of REALITY, of facing my darkest fears, really really scared because sooner or later I will and I have been there is not easy, is painful, scary, confusing, dark, just deal with it, now that you can!!!

Maybe this could help?... If you feel depressed, just do what actors do, act, act not-depressed, act wide awake, act bored and staring, remember to take longest deepest breathes, inhales and exhales to push the thought away..and act something, act/pretend/imagine/blank thought/staring thought and don;t forget to breathe... depression isn't a big thing,,you just gotta know things, learn new things to deal with it, remember old things that will make you depressed to counter act with your new in-sight/knowledge to your "own brain"..... Msg Me if this works..i've never been depressed myself.. im a type of person that just desnt deal with bad emotions/moods/thoughts..i just leave those alone...why remember something that, bad, if its just going to make you not learn anything good or better to make you a new or different person of your old self with a new mix...All your basically doing is, reading new thoughts, remembering new thoughts,..might wanna write this down on a specific paper,save cd, memory card to help you remember for a life long accession[to increase, by something added]]............remember, i said, act like an actor with your emotions, or wherever depression comes from...mood/emotion/vibes/thoughts/breathing/words/............. Which is better, Balance of Good and Normal, or Good and Nothing/Blank thoughts??

i have felt numb from depression. it has gotten very bad due to certain life circumstances. i think the best thing to do is to not think about your feelings, remember that emotions are temporary. one moment we can be happy, the next moment sad or frustrated. don't let the emotions control your life and instead, focus on what you are doing. go out and get sunshine; if you're an extrovert, get out among people. exercise to feel happier, and just think positive. ie. if you lose the opportunity to get a job, think about what you can do to secure the next one. take it in stride. that's what i'm doing, and i've been depressed since i was 13.

Some good advice! And anyone with this illness,obviously should find a non-judgmental person to listen to them! I have been dealing with this for many years,also.

I understand what you mean about going numb. In my personal experience with depression it settles itself right in beside loosing my ability to care and connect. I'll even see what's happening and know it but I won't care - won't want to , try to, and if I try I find I can't. It's like a total feeling of indifference for me - it doesn't matter what happens.

i think thats normal. i've reached that point were i've been depressed long enough for me to think that there's nothing left in me to feel with. i call it apathy and i've been feeling a lot of it lately. i think i've hit rock bottom or close to it

I can completely relate. Ever since my Mom passed away I've been numb. It's been so hard for me to care about anything. The only thing/one I still care about is my boyfriend, who is my whole life now and has really helped me for the past year. Numbness is worse than pain though. At least pain means that you're alive. Being numb feels like being dead. At least that's what I think.


I feel the same way. I have had depression since I was about 10, and right now I'm a very numb person. I never get excited, it takes a lot to allow me to say I am actually "happy" and I have a hard time telling my fiance I love him. Holidays don't get me excited anymore like they used to. I am on Cymbalta but I think it only keeps me on a fairly stable scale, I'm not depressed but I wouldn't' say "happy" either. I'm glad to know that other people experience this too.

Dear LeeAnn<br />
Numbness is NOT a sign of clinical depression. To self diagnose clinical depression, ask yourself these 5 questions:<br />
<br />
1) am I sleeping well?<br />
2) is my appetite good?<br />
3) have I good self-esteem?<br />
4) have I much hope for the future?<br />
5) have I a healthy libido?<br />
<br />
If you get 3 No's when answering these questions, you have self-diagnosed clinical depression.<br />
<br />
If you feel numb, that's something else. Some kind of shock maybe? If you don't know what has caused the numbness, you may benefit from talking things out with a good friend or a counsellor. If you do know what has caused the numbness, the same applies - talk about it, but with a view to finding something practical you can do for yourself.<br />
with love

I know the numbness unfortunately pretty well especially of late

i no how u feel, i can put a face on for people and then crumble as soon as thet have left, i dont fink anyone else has a clue whats goin on except my husband. i can wake up and feel fine and then something small can trigger it and its like the end of the world and i just wanna shut myself away. is that the black cloud? i cant take any medication as im pregnant!

Yeah, I know what you mean. The only reason why I'm not tearing my hair out right now is because I'm on my medication, but my life still feels like a fog that, I can kind of make it through but it still affects my life. I am getting help, but it'll take a while to get through this.<br />
<br />
Best of luck.

those who are depress right now are not a real Christian

ya the numbness is the worst ever cause nothing matters at all. for me its the lowest point where all ur emotions and feelings just disappear and its like life isnt real anymore. also it makes me think about suicide more cause whats the point of living in a life where u feel nothing

I too understand those feelings too. I wish you well on your battle and hope you find a way to stay ahead of your depression. It is good to have a lace like EP to find people who understand and support each other as we each battle our own depression.

I think you're having a crisis of faith. You should pick up a Bible and start reading that. It has alot of answers to questions I'm sure you have. I'm going through the exact same thing. The Bible actually gives me emotion. I'm numb in the world, but am happy when I pick up a Bible and start reading. It does have the answers, try it out. Read some of my notes, you'll be thorougly entertained. They deal with Philosophy and Quantum Physics.

I have felt the same way. I have suffered from depression a while back. It took everything away from me. Now that I'm all better I think that numbness is really just your mind defending itself against strong emoton because its been hurt so many times. Do you believe in God? With the help of the lord that numbness turns into a sense of fufillment if you go to him. if you want to know more or talk just message me about it/comment my white board

You haven't been around in awhile, hope everything is okay? Hang in there LeeAnn.

Im the same it hasnt gotten better for me, but ive kept to myself and stopped reaching out and talking to people.<br />
But it could be a chemical problem i was low on dopamine and seratonin for a number of years.<br />
look up seratonin and dopamine deficiency.

i would recommend a minor lifestyle change (ie: take it like a (wo)man/) over anything else. i feel useless and often have the same nihilistic ennui that some people here have commented. then i remember something: the many people who built the continental railroad (in the heat with no shade) never took anti depressants, and they truly had a depressing life. they were strong and they dealt with it. but if i had to prescribe any medication, i would argue that the best tonic is chronic. just don't toke up by yourself that would make things worse in your case. however smoking solo (if you are prepared) is great for introspection. a group of people smoking is conducive to a very fulfilling social experience. anyways, i assume you are fervently anti-drug. keep in mind, you are not the only one out there. if i were to visit a doctor i would probably test positive for depression and ADD. <br />
<br />

Numbness is a classic sign of depression. I have been down to the lowest depths of depresssion, with several suicide attempts to my name so I can say that with authority. <br />
<br />
In my own case I was so numb and so hollow by the end that I swore that if I tore back my skin there would be nothing inside. Like I was a ballon or an empty egg shell, like the chicken had hatched and I was all that was left. However I scared myself half to death when I found that I was fanasizing about suicide for most of the day and it was then that I decided that I needed help.<br />
<br />
I still battle depression, once you have it it never really goes away. Drugs helped little and shirks even less, what I found best was just talking to someone who cared. Knowing that someone out there cared wheather I was alive or dead gave me strength to push on and get through.<br />
<br />
Although I also found a little book that has helped me and others, it called 'I had a Black Dog' by Mathew Jhonstone. Winston Churchill once called his bouts of depression is black dog and this is where this little book takes its name. It is a picture book that is only a few pages long but its message is a powerful one of hope and promise.<br />
<br />
There are two passages that I like from it:<br />
"There are many different breeds of Black Dog affecting millions of people from all walks of life. The Black Dog is an equal opportunity mongrel."<br />
<br />
and<br />
<br />
"The black dog can be made to heel." Accompanied by a picture of the black dog firmly leashed sitting obediently by his masters side.<br />
<br />
I hope that you find the way to tame your black and make him heel. I would be happy to chat about depression and my experiences, feel free to message me.

I'm into numbness too.. I've stopped crying, stopped most of the anger, won't acknowledge the pain and here I am without any feeling of any kind. I know why it started (my father) and I know why I'm here (my husband) but keep hoping that there's some way out. I am destined to be back on meds (appt next month) and know it's not the answer even though it makes things better... or at least I hope. Hope is all that I have left.

I don't know if you're on medication or not, but the "problem" with antidepressants is that while they take out the lows, they also take out the highs. Kind of keeps you in a "neutral" range most of the time.<br />
<br />
I don't know if it's the medication or depression but I'm always like that. I sometimes 'act' out/'react' with an emotion... my behavior changes, but do I think I'm feeling anything? Not really. Obviously I'm not going to say "fake it," but by not suppressing that... perhaps someday I'll really feel something.

Typge your comment here...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
how can we help our self when the world just drugs you down

I feel the same way all the time.

If you are taking medication(s), emotional "numbness" can be a side effect of that until your body gets used to it. If not, there may be some underlying trauma yet to be identified by you or your therapist. The only time I truly remember feeling "numb" was when I was diagnosed with PTSD. I couldn't cry, get angry, laugh or get emotional in any way. I wanted to, and I would even watch sad or comedy movies to try to get something going on with no success. It took about six months to get over it. My therapist wanted me to punch pillows but I just couldn't see the point. So, I don't know any advice to give you except to try to crawl into your head and find out what has changed since you started feeling this way and go after that item. Start peeling the onion back one la<x>yer at a time and see if you can identify your "trigger" and then either with a therapist's or friend's help neutralize that trigger for you. Good luck.

I've felt this emotional numbness myself...but I also have physical numbness of my face which I've recently noticed gets worse when my "sadness" gets worse. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know how much medications really help and to be honest, whether the hardest part of meds is making the decision to get them or the actual act of remembering (and wanting) to take them at all.

I'm going through the same thing, there's nothing wrong with you, trust in god, he will get you though whatever you're going through....theres hope.

I also know how you feel and with me there is never warning. It may take time to get over and I show it to no one but its there. Just have faith.

wow I thought the numbness was due to the medications? I have been on anti depression medication for so long. I really thought it was the medications. I think it a horrible feeling I agree.. But at least you still can feel happy and laugh. I just feel anger!! and the other strong emotion is despair. I have had some therapy, truthfully that didn't help at all. I really think it screwed me up more. Now I just stay on my meds until they stop working totally, my doctor changes them, and everything starts all over again. My depression has gotten worse with age! and now reaching menopause! Wow I am in hell! I don't wish this crap on anyone! Not even my worst enemy! I had hard times with PMS, now a have a severe PMS with menopause!!I am trapped in my own private hell.

I experience this blackness. I call it my well moments, like I have reach the bottom of my ability to enjoy life. It's almost like there are two of me. The one I show the world, because it's who they expect to see and the me who isn't there, the real me. The real me doesnt always find joy in the company of others, because it is stressfull to have to explain my bottom of the well moments. They don't understand. They just want the fake me back. It's too late though. I have accepted who I am, as I am. I find ways to work around it. I'm on a mission to figure out what purpose depression serves in my life. Right now, I am confused.

yeah... i don't think there's anything real in the world worth getting depressed about... ultimately it's all in your head. two different people can have the exact same thing happen to them, and one will have forgotten it by the next day while the other spirals into hopeless cycles of self-torture...<br />
that's what depression is, i think.<br />
moment-to-moment is good. that works. keep refreshing your input buffers, and the depression can't cycle. does anyone know what i mean? can't think... going to sleep.

I suspect that I'm older than most of the other commenters. I'm 50 years old, and I've been thru a period of about 5 years where nothing mattered. My experience features that numbness as its major symptom. For about the last 2 years of that period, I tried daily to figure out a "guaranteed" method of suicide that wouldn't leave me paralyzed or like that.<br />
<br />
The first thing for me was to "get up off the couch." That is, do anything to address that numbness. I wound up on 12-step recovery, which is very good for me. Among other things, it's where I found people I could really trust.<br />
<br />
Now it's coming back. If my own efforts and my recovery can't get me past this numbness, my next step is to go to a local mental-health agency. I have no money, but I know where to start. <br />
<br />
Above all, take it seriously. I have had pain, anger, and sadness in recovery that were legitamite. None of the legitamite feelings was nearly as dangerous as the numbness.

Can i ask you , what 12 step recovery is please ? ...from uk

have suffered for 20 years with Depression...had a breakdown 2 years ago...was put on meds and now have that same numbness...lay on the couch all day....and there's no real time help out there..GPS are completely useless as is councilling..what else is there ?

Thank you for asking. "Twelve Step recovery" is a method of healing from various addictions and dysfunctions. The best known form of 12-step recovery, and the oldest, is Alcoholics Anonymous. There are also many others, including Al-Anon (families and friends of alcoholics), Narcotics Anonymous (various drugs), and Cocaine Anonymous (cocaine), among others. Probably needless to say, I highly recommend 12-step recovery if you fit into any of the hundreds of fellowships.

Given that the topic here is depression, Emotions Anonymous may fit many here, if a meeting is available. (Emotions Anonymous is one of the relatively small fellowships.)

I feel the same way I sometimes just wish i was never born or was dead and get angry at God fro creating me.<br />
some peoples deprssion is extremely dark but everyone copes with it differntly and evryones situation is differnt so it doesnt sound scary

I feel the same way. I have felt this way for as long as I can remember. I feel different from other people. I know why I am sad, but those realizations don't help at all, because I know that things are not going to get better. It's call depressive realism- looking at the world realistically and seeing what is really there. I don't distort things to see them negatively, I just see them realistically. <br />
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All my hope has drained away though, and I have accepted that things will not get better. Now I just feel numb.

i totally feel u <br />
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its exactly the same with me ... i can laugh and smile <br />
i try to enjoy but i cant.. i feel so numb ... nothing feels<br />
like it used to anymore... i do the exact same fun activities as before but i don't feel anything am not happy .. am not satisfied... i cry without a reason ... i cant love it scares me.. i feel that i need to have someone close to me but i cant honestly love .. :(<br />
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That "black cloud" is a *****. I can feel it coming on, just as real clouds drift in on the horizon. I can be having a fairly good, productive day...then wham. Ten years ago I tried the "meds" route. Despiramine, then Zoloft, then Paxil over the course of six years, with only marginal results. I switched to St. Johns Wort after that. It has the same properties, only organic. It's not a cure-all,(be mindful of sun exposure) but it helps as much as the script meds ever did. Stack DHEA after a month of St. Johns Wort dosing....then call me in the morning. <br />
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Also I agree with Shystar. Depression has triggers. Finding those triggers is the key. Understanding those triggers is a must. We all have them, they are part of who we are. Managing and or eliminating the depression triggers is the hard part.

I would agree that in the early stages depression can feel like a general numbness. I have had the numbness, and the heaviness as well - not fun.<br />
I'm not a therapist or anything but here's something to consider;<br />
"Depression occurs when our feelings are disconnected from their source but attached to all aspects of our life"<br />
Janice Berger - Emotional Fitness<br />
Her book is mostly about acknowledging and grieving the trauma of our childhoods (trauma can be lack of parenting to active abuse), and directing those disconnected feelings to the original hurts.<br />
The earlier you do something about depression the better.

I would agree that in the early stages depression can feel like a general numbness. I have had the numbness, and the heaviness as well - not fun.<br />
I'm not a therapist or anything but here's something to consider;<br />
"Depression occurs when our feelings are disconnected from their source but attached to all aspects of our life"<br />
Janice Berger - Emotional Fitness<br />
Her book is mostly about acknowledging and grieving the trauma of our childhoods (trauma can be lack of parenting to active abuse), and directing those disconnected feelings to the original hurts.<br />
The earlier you do something about depression the better.

Hello, I feel for you. Yep , that is how it is unfortunately. How long have you been feeling like that?? Do you have children , do you know what may have trigger it . Hope you have family or good network to support you through your really rough days. I am at stage at the moment, and but worse than you (mentally I want to do it ) physically well another story.....<br />
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Shystar has covered it well , to hopeful help you. Talking if you feel like it , is good to let out of your system. However, with this mood swings I found do not try to hard to analyze , just take moment by moment and 1 day at the moment.<br />
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Hope to hear that you are feeling better ,and things are ok.

Depression....where do you start?! Are you on medication? If so do you think it actually works or does it work cos you think it does? Cos you seem to be doing something about it? Have you tried therapies....not therapists...but therapies? Do you have someone you can completely trust 100% whether they are in your life just now, family, someone you haven't spoken to in ages, someone who you don't speak to anymore but someone that will be there, listen and tell you the truth. I have to go back to my first comment and say that you need to start loving yourself, I don't know if it's as easy as saying you just get used to it. You need to realise that you are a person and people love you whether you chose to believe that or not. Have you ever thought about where this depression originated, childhood, teenage years, adulthood? Have you spoken to anyone about what triggers this? This numbness you feel I don't think is a numbness to things around you, people you love I think it's a numbness to how you feel about yourself. Something has happened that makes you think that you're not worthy of other peoples attention and when you get that attention you start to shy away from it cos again you don't think you're worthy of it. You are your own person, you are going to be loved by people (sometimes unwanted! ha ha) being loved and surrounding by this doesn't mean that you have to give up your identity, that your dependent on people, take some time to think about it......people spend time with you for a reason cos if you don't take something from this then just take this one thing, people don't do anything "just because", they don't do anything "because they have to" they do it cause they want to. You have to start seeing what they see. You feel numb about yourself and this is probably highlighted because when this happens you freeze everyone out. Then you start to feel guilty about freezing them out...its a vicious circle...and one that only you can break. Freezing people out and running away isn't going to solve anything. Surrounding yourself with people who you genuinely care about, trust and respect and you know who those people are. I personally found that the people I could talk to most weren't my family (too close, and probably where it all started), partners...yes most def, they might not understand but the bond there, if you feel that there is love, hope, trust then go for it.... but friends, not people you work with, not people you've known for a while but the people who will stand up to you and challenge what you're saying, make you think, offer solutions.....make you think of solutions, maybe even have a spat with you over it, maybe even get so annoyed that you have major spats about it. Believe it or not, even though there might be a fight on the horizon, doesn't that mean that you feel something, when someone hurts you, you don't speak anymore is that not because someone along the line has been hurt....yes...which means you aren't as numb as you think you are. Sorry for going on but I don't think there is an easy answer to the difficulties facing you but I do think you need to look deep inside, find out why this has happened, address it, find a true friend and rip it to shreds until you have found the true background, then start dealing with day to day. Please let me know if this has helped any or ....not. Take care xx

i disagree with the comment people spend time with you for a reason cos if you don't take something from this then just take this one thing, people don't do anything "just because", they don't do anything "because they have to" they do it cause they want to...many people will use the vunrable as a stepping stone to get what they want, or be friend you for some kind of personal gain without a second thought,depresion is diffrent for everyone and made up of many diffrent complex agendas which may vary from individual to individual,acceptance,broken childhood,been used,over thinking,negative thinking unrealistic thinking or as daft as it may sound realistic thinking to the point where where you could just scream at the stupidty of people,the kind of people with the itl never happen to me kind of logic that would drink and drive then be completely shocked at the fact they crashed even tho other saw it coming before they got in the car,theres no cure and theres no answer to depression,you can spend forever trying to figure out what causes it which is diffrent for everyone or you can just pick up the pieces and figure out what works for you individualy.its nice to have people that can be there but no one will ever completely will always have to explain yourself to them before they try to cungure up an answer that you either cling on to in desperation or dismiss completely.either way it always falls back at your own feet.accept these feelings will lways be a part of who you are and learn how to work with them to get around them,and at times can even be benifical nd open your eyes to things ways and ides you would of never even considerd if it wasnt for the way this ILLNESS makes you feel.its only an illness if you let it be...good luck.every cloud has a silver lining and in this case who says its healthy to always see things from other peoples perspectives

I know exactly how you feel. I am going into 10th grade now and I felt that way for all of 7th grade. Good news is, it does get better. You're so used to that feeling that you just accept it and think it's never going to go away and you look at happy people and envy them...but hate them because you know you will never get there...but you just takes time.