I have had problems with my depression for years. Some days are harder than others. I've seen a counselor on and off for the past 5 years. She told me that the main trigger of my depression is relationships. I'm single and feel that I will be alone for all of my life. I try and try to make myself happy being single, but all it does is cover up my real feelings. I tell people that I love being single because I am independent and that I don't want to have kids. That's all a lie. I'm lonely and feel very insignificant.
So I finally met someone that makes me feel like I am important. That I am beautiful and a wonderful person. Then what did I do? I messed it up just like I always do. I pushed and pushed until he didn't want to talk to me anymore.
I know...I'm wining and my life could be a lot worse right? Well I can't think of many things that would be worse than spending your entire life alone with your cats. No boyfriend, no husband, no children; never getting the opportunity to experience a proposal or a wedding or childbirth. I feel all alone and I know I will always be alone.