Cocaine the White Beast!!!!!

I grew up on a small island in the bahamas, it was fun, the sandy beaches and the near perfect scenery.Until cocaine came in on the Island almost wipe out an entire population. all I remember about my was she was jazzy one of those soul train dancers type, when she got a hold of cocaine she wither away, she didn't care about anything anymore but the drugs, drugs were being shipped back and forth from miami to bimini, and it wiped out the little island. My mother was so hooked she put me on a plane, and I never saw her again, Dcfs came and got me I was in group homes, foster care and so forth.

I understand that peple make mistake, but I don't see how a mother can just leave a child behind.Mother's seem so cold now adays, they only care about themselves. and no matter what someone says it's a big hole inyour heart, I always wonder "what If" someday I hope I can tell my life story in a novel when i get up the courage, just so that maybe it can help someone, because I feel like I am beyond help, the mother that I always dreamed for is gone. and threw me to the curb.

I wish people can understand that when they drink they not only hurt themselves but other innocent by standers. and every holiday, no matter how simply I always think what is she doing, did she ever tried to find me? is she in heaven looking down. To this day I will not want to go back to the bahamas so many bad memories........ 

xxhoney xxhoney
26-30
1 Response Feb 8, 2009

Some times Mothers have to make very tough decisions. She saw that she was NOT supplying you with the best home life.<br />
It may seem to you that she sent you away because she was being mean, but she was saving you from farther harm and from witnessing her decline even deeper into her own hell. She gave you a chance at a better life. Maybe she did try to find you or maybe she was just too embarrassed to face you again.<br />
<br />
You may have had a difficult time being in a different country without your family, but you did NOT have to watch your mother destroy herself and possibly your life.