Blocked Goals

that is one of the major contributors that i've learned about depression - blocked goals.  and 90% of failing to achieve them you figure are due to some inadequacy or limitation within yourself.  thus the temptation towards self-hate - which can only be depressing!

a personality trait of constant introspection to 'fix' what you think makes you undesirable is also a major contributor.  as is a sensitive nature to all the sadness that is in the world.  a fear for your loved ones having their hearts broken, especially your children - when it's impossible to prevent for them.  impossible expectations..

finally all of these and more can drive one to preoccupation with self. some would call this narcissism.  perhaps.  but i figure if you expend effort to encourage others and support them, then you are far from it and in fact a courageous person for giving in spite of your sense of loss.

i am chronically depressed for these reasons and for some major circumstances in my life.  but use my own depression as a reason to exercise a great degree of love and compassion for others fighting the same battle.  i don't ever condemn.  ever.

roadkil roadkil
46-50, M
2 Responses Feb 13, 2009

it's a *****, isn't it? i often wonder if i have the depth of character such that i would still be a compassionate person if i weren't depressed.<br />
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ah, but there we go again! haha! sigh...

I too feel that through my depression I've learned better how to love. And that because of what I've seen I am a stronger person. But... It's still hard to cope with.