I Won My Battle With Depression!

I will tell you how here. Now remember, I was many years younger then. Both my parents had already passed as did many other family members.

While I was working, I was a perfectionist. The main problem was that I expected everyone else around me to be the same way. Many times you don't see what is wrong within yourself. Other people saw my problem, but rather then help me, they played tricks and messed with my head to get under my skin. (This was not in my head, because my husband worked in the same place and he knew what people were doing.)I ended up crying all the way home from work more days then not. Then I would have to pull myself together to face my children and grandparents. Grandma and grandpa knew something was wrong, but not what it was. My kids didn't know there was anything wrong with me because it was normal to them.

It came down to me just about loosing my job, but my boss was kind enough to share the experience he had with his son. He told me what they went through and how they finally got their son to go for help. His world turned around 360 degrees, as a result so did mine.

It was a long battle that took many years to over come my issues and find the right medication and treatment for me. It all worked out fine and I am 99.9 percent today. I am happy and do things. I don't hide in my room and cry all day. Because I was not afraid to ask for help, once I knew I needed it.

Loveisallaround Loveisallaround
46-50, F
4 Responses Feb 15, 2009

Well to a rational thinking person that is easy to do. I agree that we should be as honest with our children as possible. My boys will come to me with all kinds of questions about sex and girls and I answer HONESTLY even if I am cringing inside. <br />
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When I said they thought it was normal, you have to understand that my boys were yound and were not around other children and parents. So what they saw and experienced SEEMED normal to them because they had nothing to compare my actions and emotions to. <br />
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I had a very bad chemical imbalance in my brain, so I could NOT think rationally at times. I would freak out over the littlest of things. And I mean FREAK OUT. Yell, scream, say bad words, throw things and cry. <br />
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It took many years of therapy, medication and eventually ECT treatments. (Electro Convulsive Therapy: It used to be called shock therapy) This was the hardest thing I ever went through. I was hospitalized for several weeks in a mental health clinic. Then I had to go back 2 times a week for 2 months. The ride was <br />
1 1/2 hours each way. I would remember going, but never coming back. I lost quite a bit of short time memory and some old memories were forgotten until I was reminded of them. Some memories are gone forever. <br />
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I share this experience with others so that they can get better insight on what it is like to have mental issues that you can not controal. Now remember all through this I had a very loving and understanding husband and family. My husband was the first there and the last to leave everyday for the 2 hours they allowed visitors. Every day he drove a total of3 hours to spend 2 hours with me in the hospital. I thank God for sending him into my life. He is a wonderful giving man. Oh yeah he was running our business by himself and on top of that 2 people ending up having to quit during the weeks I was admitted in the hospital. My husband never told me until months afterwards. I honestly do not know how he did it. God I love that man.<br />
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In the end I was pretty much not right for a LONG time after all that. I was left so drained. So he ended up caring for the boys and running the house and business, while I pretty much slept all the time.<br />
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I am now a happy, outgoing and positive thinking person. I am growing both as a human being and a spiritual being now. My life has improved 100%. All because of the love and devotion of one very special man and the support and love of my husbands family. I am truly blessed in so many ways.<br />
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BTW my oldest is 24 and fine emotionally. My youngest is 19 and has been on anti depressant medication for about 10 years. He is ok, but I will always worry about him. He is too much like me. My oldest is a replica of my husband in so many ways, that I don't worry about him nearly as much. He does have a tendancy to attract needy and emotionally needy young ladies. Maybe he is following in his fathers foot steps in that way. If so I pray that he can handle all that goes with that kind of a needy spouse.<br />
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I hope this helps even one person understand depression and may help them to understand and support others around them.<br />
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I pray for the emotional and physical health of so many every day.

On a side note here I thought it was interesting that you kids didn’t know there was anything wrong with you because it was normal to them ,,,,I read that kids are very receptive to adults actions and they can see by your face when something is wrong ..it’s when those times are around and are kids ask mom “what’s wrong “and we say ‘’oh nothing hunny “that is when they start second guessing their own intuition. I try to always tell my son if he ask if something is wrong I will say something like “ yes mommy is a little upset right now, but not at you and no need to worry about it I will be ok in a little bit” . I find it best to live by this rule of thumb if he is old enough to ask then he is old enough to know...That’s very hard to live by when it come to sex. Any way I’m glad that you over came this depression.

I didn't need help being one , lol. I needed help to stop expecting others to hold the same high standards. I drove everyone around me NUTS!!!

Help with being a perfectionist?