My Lover, My Best My Roomate

 Hi....dont know how i got here. What turn brought me to this place. If i should have gone right instead of left. Yet here i am. On a long road that is filled with loneliness, depression and a feeling of doubt over my whole life that i cant begin to shake. Im married to a woman that baffels me. Confuses me on every angle. Who professes love, desire and warm to me and yet i have no examples of these from her. Tells people other then myself how much she cherishes me....yet i feel nothing of the sort from her. We havent been intimate at alll this year and last i can count on one hand how many times we have been. But its not just the sex, not just the lack of desire to be with me that has me at the virtual ledge......its how this woman who should be by my side makes me feel inside. As if i were just her roomate, deligated to taking care of those things around the house she cant be bothered with...or pay the bills. I found myself listening to music today and heard the song superman by five for fighting....and just hearding the words.....and it made me feel so lost for some reason. Lost in the 9 years ive been married to someone that does not love...ME. Love might love the situation...just might love the fact she doesnt have to work or that i take care f the kids when she wants to talk to her friends or surf the web.

But she sure as HELL...doesnt love the man behind the paycheck, behind the man who is a devoted father....

and so i sit here...feeling just as alone as i felt when i was, more so in fact...because i have someone...they just dont want me

ChaoticLove72 ChaoticLove72
36-40, M
3 Responses Feb 17, 2009

WHAT KINDA FING COMMENTS IS THAT!!!!!!????? first off, yah i know expressing yourself in a complicated and philosophical manner is good and all, but it sounds to me like your f'in complexing shiz, SLAP HER SO HARD BLOOD SHOOTS FROM HER VAG, then tell her as it is, but don't be a wifebeater, that's not cool, you know what man, i think you should get her to read the story you posted. dam, don't u just wish you could knock a woman out once in a while, some can be REAL betches. so sad, too bad, you can't nigs, seriously though you have to tell her what's up CONFIDENCE IS KEY BROTHER!!!!

sounds like youll need to work thru this one!

It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation. You have my sympathy.