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Alas!

i was first diagnosed with chronic depression 6 years ago, but i went undiagnosed for quite some time.   a year after i was they also told me i suffered from bi polar disorder. even with the medications i still feel like i struggle to make it through each and every day. i feel so hopeless and at times a sudden sense of extreme loss. it's unbearable sometimes. my heart feels heavy and i feel so alone. people try to understand but after awhile they just get frustrated with me. i dont want to be like this but its so hard to keep under control when you feel so out of control with your emotions.  someday i hope to over come this battle of good and evil. its tiring and getting very very old...

peace1117 peace1117 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 18, 2009

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yo nobed, wtf is with that shizz, anywhoo, peace1117, say all the shiz that's on your brain. let go of embarrassment and all that tryash, tell someone, tell me!!!! what is up, you have to find someone to empathize with or the closest thing to it........... NOBED DON'T COMMIT JESUSTU I LOVE U ALL

Feel like you are living life emotionally "underwater" ?<br />
Do people get frustrated with you when they give you<br />
something positive , or beautiful, or something pleasant-feeling or sounding? - but you reply to them with a <br />
"Yes - but ...." A response that comes back from your<br />
own mind semi-automatically that says there is nothing<br />
good happening to YOU?<br />
Depression actually prevents a person from being able<br />
to "take in" positive thoughts. I know , I 've been there. To the point of a suicide attempt 5 years ago.<br />
That mind has to be forced to accept nice , positive,<br />
beautiful thoughts. It can't do it by itself. Here is a<br />
prescription:<br />
Philippians 4:8<br />
[ Meditate on These Things ] "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."