Behind the Mask

ive been depressed off and on for years i miss my mum who died when i was 7 and though loved and cared for by family feel a big gap which over the years have tried to fill with food thus being fat for years and no self eteem which has lead me to thinking certain folk are friends when they arent they just using me feel im nothing but a fat useless lump even when things are going ok i know its not too long before things arent so ok  the smooth road doesnt go very far not long before it gets rocky and im on antidressants again and i feel im in a dark tunnel and cant see the light at end of it and noone can help me.

like most folk with depression i wear a mask of happiness for the world  but deep down im not. even on sunny days thats not  how i feel

dont know what else to say  so will leave it there





sweetcutie sweetcutie
36-40, F
2 Responses Feb 19, 2009

if you ever need to talk, please email me, l work with families who are isolated, depressed.

I understand losing a loved one can be very hard on a person. I've never lost my mom and I will admit that would kill me, but I did lose my Grandma and she took care of me. I still think about her but it makes me happy thats she's in a better place and not in pain anymore. I became a christian about 2 years ago and God has helped me out a lot. No my life isn't perfect, but he did fill that emptiness i was feeling. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." God will always be there for you! I believe everything happens for a reason and God will only put you through things he knows you can over come. There is a perpose to your life and something you were meant to do. You don't need negative people in your life. God loves you just the way you are. If it bothers you being over wieght then work out and change it. I'm lazy and I get unmotivated lol, but i make myself do it anyways cause I hate being over wieght. Even if you don't lose much wieght you would still be in better shape and feel healthier. I'm sure your a very lovely person on the inside and thats what truly matters!