Sick of It

What is real? When I don't take my meds I have thoughts of hopelessness. Nothing seems worth it. I could spend years at school and then build a career, but will it make me happy? My mom went to school, got married, got divorced and now is working three jobs to support us. That isn't at all what she envisioned for her life. Is this what in store for me? To be tired, stressed, overworked, out of shape, trying to raise kids but failing miserably? I don't see any hope. I don't see anything worth fighting for. I could always turn to God, but its hard to know that is a for sure thing. How can I know but others don't. I am so confused. I am tired to being alone with no one I can turn to. One of the signs of clinical depression is that you don't enjoy the activities you once did. But thats the problem. I don't remember ever enjoying anything.

elizabeth1618 elizabeth1618
18-21, F
Feb 19, 2009