Just Wanting to Escape-

I have been suprised for about half of my life. I know that alot of it has to do with my weight, but thats a diffrent story. Alot of personal things in my life make me the person I am. I wish that my dad spent more time with me. He works alot, and when he comes home my mom and him go out,. I try to make them realize that they have a family at home (which is just me) but they just get mad. They are not like bad parents, they just dont see the big picture. I am very close to my mom- but am drifting away from her. My dad he jokes with me, but doesnt see that i am calling out for him. When I try to tell him, he eather cracks a joke or makes fun of me. Whenever I tell my mom how I feel, she tells me to tell my dad. I just feel like I am in a box and no matter what I do, I am always the one who is left out. I just want to talk to someone. Like, I just want to let it out. I think it is time that I start focusing on me for once. There are a couple of things that I would like to do that I cant right now. But I think that once I realize who I am and the time is right, I will be able to escape. Does anyone know how I feel?

tryingtofindwhoiam tryingtofindwhoiam
18-21, F
3 Responses Feb 22, 2009

know how u feel all too well! livin with ma at the mo(to save on debts). She often belittles me with name callin etc! Took me to weightwatchers age 12, 15 and kept callin me fat etc. told her it made me worse-eating more, vicious circle etc. She thought by callin me names, it would spur into action to change my ways, kinda like reverse psychology! well it didn't work! Still doesn't!<br />
i have enough problems fighting my own inner critic nevermind her voice plus others!<br />
lost weight few yrs ago but have put half of it back on now! think i realised that being slimmer and better off doesn't make me any happier, and that what's stopping me is this damn mind of mine! <br />
Lots of frustration is problem I have, but what's even more frustrating is that i know I'm the problem but can't seem to rectify it! just wanna scream, but oh no, i'm too inhibited for that!

Yeah I hear you. I'm feeling the same way in that my parents are the only people in my life right now and in some ways they're the people I hate the most. My dad also makes fun of me, cracks jokes in front of company when they come over, acts like I have nothing in my life (which i dont) but he shouldn't belittle me like that in front of people i hate him for it. He's ****** up and he always threatens to kick me out of the house and fight me when any little thing goes wrong or isn't cleaned. The other day I unleashed all my anger on him at the top of my lungs and it felt great, he backed down. Maybe you should express yourself, maybe not in the way I did but express it.

I understand how you feel! Message me if you want to talk. I have been there.