It's Easy to Hide It From Other People...

... I just wish I could hide it from myself.  There are peaks and valleys, and half the time I can't tell what sets them off.  When I have the energy for it, I'm irritated that this has resurfaced.  This isn't the first time, but I did the breakdown, psych hospital, and extensive therapy thing years ago.

This time around, I'm catching it before it goes that far, but it's a ****** to realize that I'm not fixed.  It's not like there's an in between, either.  I can be on top of my game or completely non-functional. 

My usual escape methods don't even work anymore.  Racing thoughts and all that.  I'm starting therapy again soon here - the appointment is set.  It just irritates me that I can't identify and fix the cause of the problem. 
randompenguin randompenguin
26-30, M
1 Response Aug 13, 2007

You will find a fix - just put it out in the universe - it will happen. It took me years to find my way. Don't give up hope.