The one I love does not love me back. Sooner or later I know it will end... But I don't love myself enough to want it to end. He is not good for me and he doesn't even seem to want a future with me. After this I am ruined. I don't ever want to date again after him. I am tired of loving so hard and just having my heart broken. I am tired of people hurting me. It is so hard to love yourself when others treat you like crap.

I keep praying for the strength to kill myself because I know things will only go downhill from here. My depression has never gotten any better. I've had it for 14 years now, ever since I was little. I am stuck with it and it is killing me.

I cannot get up to do anything
All I want to do is lie in bed all day
And dream of a normal life where I am not constantly upset or hurt..
I just want all of this pain to end.
Going back on my depression meds soon. Guess going off of them was a bad idea. Silly me, like I could be normal without medications...
kbeary kbeary
22-25, F
3 Responses Aug 16, 2014

I have been where you are and the first step is loving yourself after that all the chips fall into place. I come from a family with a history of depression and alcoholism so I get it. But you must never give up hope and always know that there is light at the end of this tunnel called life.

Thank you. It means a lot you replied like this. Its been so hard trying to love myself but I know it's important and I hope I can start to do so

You really wanna be another robin Williams ?

Can't tell if that's an insensitive comment or not.

Nope, it's not.
Sick of peeps thinking death is the ink way out

When you have serious depression it is hard to think otherwise, unfortunately

I can soo relate to you, I know EXACTLY how you feel cause I'm the same exact way:(

I'm sorry you have to feel the same way. Would not wish this pain upon anyone..

No, never. I just wish I could be normal. I'm so tired of feeling this way, and so tired of giving my all only to be ultimately played over and over again. And Its why i hate myself....:(