29 days to my own suicide.

It seems like everything positive you try to within your depression ends up seeming forced. As much as you want to fool yourself you can’t. That in itself can make you feel much worse.

Lately all thats around me, is my friends happy faces. But they all look blank from my eyes, I feel no emotion. Like some how all this light is shining on them and i’m left in the dark to slowly die.

Everyday things feel worse and worse with no sign of getting better. There are some things i want to do before i leave this earth. Hug my mother who brought me into it and maybe find sometime for myself.

It is somehow refreshing knowing that the end is near.
theblacktiger theblacktiger
22-25, M
5 Responses Aug 17, 2014

I responded to the wrong person, kinda... Please read the response that was on your story, but wasn't to you.... Oops

Hi I read your story yesterday and today I signed up just so I could talk to you. I wish I could help you and stop you from killing yourself. Well at least I can try.

Don't do it! :(
I know that you know everyone around you would miss you.
Everyone has the right to live a happy life, but sometimes we have to fight for it.
I don't know what's happened in your life, but let me tell you about mine.
I'm 17, my bf (online relationship) just broke up with and I live 700 miles away from my family. I live alone in the UK and have no friends apart from the ones on the internet. I often feel lost and lonely.
My own father was abusive in so many ways to my mother and in some ways to me as well. Now, because of him, I have ZERO money and am not quite sure how I'm going to get through the month, while he lives in luxury. My mother can't give me anything because she's not gotten anything from my father either. We're waiting on her lawyer to make him pay, but can't do much until then.
I have depression, too. A lot of it is probably because of my father. Every night, before I fall asleep I see images of my father shouting at me and my mother. It scares me and I cry every single night.
One thing that my father and NO ONE may take away from me is my positivity. I can't be knocked down. I will keep fighting and surviving until I have won.
The sad part is that there are people out there who've had it even worse than I.
Please don't give up!! You deserve a happy life and you know it. So fight for it!
See a doctor? Talk with your mum? Listen to music until you feel. Just go outside and look at this monstrously beautiful world! It's great to be here :) I feel lucky.
Don't do it, don't do it. I promise you you will not regret it. This life is too precious to throw away.
I don't know what else to say. Life is amazing if you let it be.
I really hope the best for you! :) find a reason to smile because it's there :)
Don't hesitate to reach out for help!

Its more because of the event that will happen on the day and where i will do it. Its a very special event for me.

I hope you don't. I am living proof that you can get past it and beat the sadness xxx

I wonder about the countdown too. But not to criticise you. My attempt was more impulsive. So they just reflect on who we are?

I thought maybe it's to give someone or something a chance to change your mind?

Those who make known their intentions to kill themselves often don't follow it through. It is a cry for help however and should never be ignored. Be there as much as you can but take care of yourself also. Seek some advice from someone in the "real" world