5 am... I just woke up... Crying... Hating myself for having losing her and everything... They meant so much to me...

But I'm not getting anything back... I wish I was never born... But nope my mom was too stupid to notice that she wasn't ready... And now I got nothing...

If only I could die right now I would... If only I had access to a gun... Or a car...
lostunit lostunit
31-35, M
4 Responses Aug 18, 2014

Don't give up ur learning so much right now

If you don't have access to a car then how do you get to the doctors and stuff?

ERM walk. Could take a bus. But its faster to walk.

I don't know what you've been through or who you are, but you have a purpose. I know that sounds like cliche bullshit but it is true. I pray to God you realize that. Keep going. Keep fighting this terrible battle because one day you will beat your demons and make it out alive. This sounds so silly but you can't end it all. You still have to fall in love and buy a 10 cent ballon on the street just because you feel like it and you still have to buy your dream house. You still have terrible and lovely movies to watch and your ears still need to be filled with music and laughs and deep late night conversations. Your heart is beating and pumping blood in your body because it wants you alive even more than you want yourself. Life is crappy sometimes but don't make it a lifestyle. Appreciate the coffee and ice cream and them combined and take a nice hot shower and lay in bed naked for 2 hours. Sleep all day and wake up, order pizza and read a good book. Just keep holding on because one day everything will be ok and you can look back and tell everyone who left you behind to **** off cause you made it without them. You will make it.

Be strong buddy, it isn't the end I promise. **** happens but hey we got to move on k? Life is like a road, just gotta drive on through! I'll you it's not your fault that's all it is. Time to move on I know it takes a while but you will I promise.

I'd say don't make promises you can't keep.

Life maybe a highway. But sometimes you don't want to ride it. So when your car breaks down. And you got nothing left. The path you choose no one else does. So your all alone... No gun in the car cause the chick you were with and said you meant the world to left you...

But there I am... That's me. The one on the broken road that no one travels. That's forgotten for a reason...

Christ. I remember that feeling. Nothing anybody can say or do will help. Time does, I guess. It is just all the pain that happens before it gets different. Life never gets better, just different. I feel for you.