I have to get up in 3 hours to start my last first day of high school. I'm anxious and depressed and it saddens me to even think I have to endure 36 weeks of the torture that is school. School has been a major source of depression and anxiety for the last couple of years. Not the work, but the pressure to be a social, happy, well rounded teenager which I'm not. I know it's my last year but I really don't want to live through it.
PurpleHart PurpleHart
18-21, F
9 Responses Aug 18, 2014

I'm not one to go on about how important an education is, but u definitely want to graduate high school. It will pay off, college may or may not. But to address other matters, high school is weird, the second u get out of it, on graduation day, you get a glimpse of who people are going to be in 10 years. The mature side if them that doesn't show very brightly during high school appears and all of the HS drama disappears, and this literally happens overnight. I will say that I can't imagine it being very fun to watch your classmates graduate. But the second you enter that graduation hall, you will feel what it's like to be free from all of the "pressure to be a social, happy and well rounded teenager" that u spoke of. And it feels good. And u didn't give many details, but u did mention that you are not a "social, happy, and well rounded teenager," when u leave school, that freedom that comes with sort of naturally eases one into being more social and happy. Although I speak from experience, you could be different, but when it came to bring unsocial, I was the king. And i still am to some extent, although I have not become much more social, the lack of pressure to be social and happy that comes with graduating high school undoubtedly made me happy. And I hope you're like me. I went to college for a year but I m currently thinking about dropping out, it's not what I want. And you shouldn't do what I don't want to do eufher

You got this! Don't sweat it. You've learned a lot and it will help u in the long run

Its totally normal to feel this way...they say that sometimes anxiety mimics excitement in other words you get the same feelings.Going on your first day is the hardest but after that it will be a piece of cake.Enjoy these years a good luck

This will pass. You will move on to better things in life. Highschool can be hard, but a year passes quick. You have the rest of your life. Dont let one year define the rest of your life.

i understand completely, I was in the exact same situation as you, only I dropped out before I made it to my 12th grade year, but don't worry it gets so much better after high school. If you go to college you have so many online opportunities to take classes. On the other side if you go straight into a working lifestyle you have the same online living options as you do now. I know you have probably heard this but when you get older it gets so much better, you are able to feel less pressure about being "well rounded" and more free to be yourself; which is what life is all about. So last thing is to be happy, be yourself, and be as social or anti-social as you wish. It is your life, live it that way.

Don't be scared. Relax. It will all be okay. Nobody will even know that you're a freshmen. You'll enjoy high school, you will meet nice people.

Oops I read you're experience wrong

Just think. We all thought that. But in the end. You won't want out of high school. The last year is the easiest academically, but the hardest emotionally. Just cause it marks the end of easy school life. And reality starts there...

I know exactly how you feel. I start my last first day of school tomorrow and I'm depressed, anxious, scared and fed up too. The well rounded, happy teenager act is getting old. It's not me. I stopped acting, making me more anxious, resulting in a very low attendance rate, which came with all sorts if problems.
I don't want to live through this year either, but the other options are, dropping out of school, working, death, or doing nothing. I think that if I ever get better, I will have wanted to graduate from school, so I'm staying, even if I don't want to right now. I think you should stay too, fight through the last year. If you don't want to be the well rounded happy teen, then stop it. Tell people you're going through a difficult time if you can. They'll understand - at least if they're decent people. Be yourself and find and do things you enjoy doing. I've lost so many friends, withdrawing from everything social, but there are still one or two people I can call friends. People care - I care - so if nothing feels right, then there are people who are willing to be a friend, a shoulder to cry on.
I wish you all the best of luck this year. I may be a complete stranger, but I care. So If you need a friend or someone to talk to, well, I'm here for you.
Take care.

I don't pretend to be happy, but I feel like I've been a over emotional burden on my family the last few years.

I'm sure your family loves you anyway.

This is my first year not going to school, as much as i hated not fitting in the thought of not having the consistency of it scares me, high school sucks but now i have to worry about not screwing up my life... as crappy as this sounds, try to enjoy the last year of the hell high school is 👍