I was diagnosed with depression and found it hard to understand coz I've not been through half as much as other people. When first diagnosed i ha a partner I had been with for 2 years he finished who me coz he couldn't deal with having a girlfriend on anti depressants and said it made him feel like a bad person. I decided to come off them coz I wanted to be with him he took me back and when I was having bad days I tried so hard not to show it to him. When things get to much I don't want to see anyone I stay in bed for days I'm still managing to go to work at the moment. I've recently broken up with him so I'm feeling really low! I live on my own which can make things really difficult. I'm constantly doubting myself I'm paranoid and feeling everyone is against me and doesn't understand me. I've contacted someone to start counselling I'm worried it's not going to help what next? I have had some thought of wishing bad things to happen coz I don't know how else to cope!
jayjai jayjai
26-30, F
1 Response Aug 19, 2014

This may be the most difficult aspect of depression -- that there often doesn't seem to be a "reason". I'd say that is the very definition of depression: feeling horrible when there is no tangible reason to feel that way. Trying to explain it away will not help -- it is what it is. Seeing a counselor WILL help -- so I'm glad you are doing that. And it will help -- but it will not be enough by itself. Also exercise, exercise, exercise -- the more the better. And changing thought patterns. One of my mantras is "you cannot think your way out of depression"... but you can change your mental habits, with a lot of practice and effort. Quiet the mind and substitute positive thoughts for the negative ones. Hang in there -- this is really difficult I know, but you can do this!