Good morning folks, hope your all well. I posted this sonewheres else but I figured I'd post it here too... Cause well its how I truly feel...

Thanks folks. You all have great options and they are all ones I have tried and even been helped with before.

This is a much bigger relapse or whatever you want to call it. Guys don't cry and feel emotional pain for this long, they get up and over it in weeks.

I can't get over the fact that I have allowed myself to be used and abused by people for so long. And losing so many people that I love and care for and about.

Chooses were made and sure I had a impact on them, but no matter if there is light in the room or not I feel I stand alone, I feel I stand alone cause I am alone, there is no one else in that room, there is no one that text or call me anymore to say, hey Adam I miss you buddy let's go do something...

There is no hugs, no kisses, there is no joy, no excitement, no thrill to wake up for. Only a soaked pillow from my tears...

I'm not scared to die... And I'm quite certain I'm already dead, only ice been damned to this world to be used and abused as the worthless no good loser that I am... This is the punishment god has given me for sxrewing up, for all the wrong I have written, and all the right I could have. That's why god hasn't saved me from my nightmares, my pain...

Like the song goes... I'm a loser baby, so why don't you just kill me...
lostunit lostunit
31-35, M
Aug 22, 2014