I Lie About It

I've struggled with depression for the past five years, on and off. The past three have been the absolute worst of them. It gets harder to fight.

I have lied about what I'm feeling more times than I can count. There are very few people that I will tell when I am feeling so horrible I want to kill myself, and sometimes I won't even tell them. Today I felt worse than I have in a very long time, but because it was caused by someone I've had problems with for years, no one took it seriously. It's all I can do not to scream and cry until my throat is raw. I feel like something is clawing out of me, and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. But it's easier to hide it than it is to see the disapproval on their faces when I try to explain.

Starcrossed Starcrossed
18-21, F
4 Responses Mar 3, 2009

Dude, you have to tell someone what it is that is making you depressed my nyaggah, or craccka, or tanman, i understand where your coming from, you seriously have to let all you ******* thoughts out, my ears are always open baby, if you don't want to tell anyone, then write it on some paper, you have to find someone to empathize wif. XOXOXOXO HUGS AND KISSES.......BEEEEEEEETTTTCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH

Know wot you're feeling. Others are ignorant cos they 'can't see' mental problems. To make a point, do u know wot the most commonly told lie is? Answer is, 'I'm fine' think about it, people ask how r u? Often say, i'm fine, without thinking, don't u? People don't wanna hear all ur woes, do they? Hope things improve soon x

i have dealt with this on and off for years.

I really can see where your coming from and i feel for you.. i have felt like ending it all.. but i never have told anyone but when i get to the point of thinking thats it im done on this planet i think of the hurt it will cause people i leave behind like my mother. x