I just don't know if it's worth it anymore. I've lived so long with such pain and fear in my heart that I just don't know if it's worth it anymore. I'm going back to college tomorrow for my senior year and I really don't want to go because I hate school. I just don't know if there's anything I could see myself doing that wouldn't worsen my depression. I don't know if I want to fight anymore. I stay for my parents but they're getting older so when they go so will I. I have nothing to live for and can't imagine things getting better only getting worse. My parents are everything to me and the pain in my heart daily is as bad as grief so if they died I'd kill myself for sure. But I'd rather kill myself than try more drugs. They never helped just made me worse and withdrawal was hell. I want help but can't see any coming so maybe I should just leave. If not now then maybe in the next year or so.
fallenstar23 fallenstar23
22-25, F
2 Responses Aug 23, 2014

You are created by God to be a blessing in this world and He has a plan and a future for you, ask Him what it is! Please watch Joel Osteen online asap and he will encourage you or Joyce Meyer. You are very loved and worthy to be alive and we need you!

I certainly don't know your story, I'm not going to deny that. But we all have a glimmer of hope in us, we all have that little spark - and what comes from a spark ? A fire. You need to stay confident with yourself, before you know it, your little spark will be able to burn down the Forrest.