Sunday Night.

I think most of us experience it.  A lot of us know it as "the sunday night blues". I tend to think that expression serves as more of a euphimism if anything.  Blues is some guy from New Orleans playing a harmonica and singing about hard times and his woman leaving him.  What I'm feeling is a lot more like the desire to cut my head off with a table saw.

Ok, so I'm a little over-dramatic, but Christ this feeling is terrible.  Some Sundays it's so bad that all I can do is cry as I futiley watch the minutes on the clock tick off one by one.  No matter how hard you will it, the ******* clock won't stand still, and you're just that much closer to that horrible fluorescent existance for yet another day.  

Do you ever have those late night epiphanies?  Where you hatch schemes and plan out ways how you'll escape this horrid job and find the "perfect company"?  Somehow, that all seems to fade as the week goes on, then finally, Friday arrives!  Who wants to think about doing anything serious on the weekend?!  Before you know it, Sunday night comes back around and sucks the wind right out of your sails yet again. 

I'm the first to admit that I'm one of the laziest people to crawl the face of the Earth, and yes, I mean crawl, somehow walking seems too taxing at the moment.  The fact that I've worked up enough energy to even write this has me floored with amazement.  I know that a lot of this horrible cycle is my own self-incarceration.  Why don't I do something to stop this??  

I can blame the depression, the anxiety, the fear, etc etc.  But what will blaming things get me?  It gets so maddening that eating a large caliber bullet usually seems like the quickest/best plan. 

Oh screw it - I'm going to take some more Ativan and at least have the escape of sleep. 

downandout357 downandout357
31-35, M
2 Responses Mar 9, 2009

I feel exactley the same way from mid Sunday on. Hate the job so much and it is so stressfull. Wish I could leave but where do you find a job in today's economy.

I don't know about you, but when im feeling sad about anything and i want to pull myself out of it, I ROAR SO LOUD, LIKE FUCKKKKKKK TTTHHHHIIIISSSS SSSSHHHHHHHIIIIITTTTTT, then go ******* get pumped do something rather than being sad that time is slipping away, i do know what you mean though, you said you have no energy, im telling scream at the top of your lungs and force yourself to exercise or some ****, push yourself really hard just for a bit, crap man you feel great afterwards, you will see you will be so much more confident in taking on the crap in your life, peace babe.