I'm starting to see a pattern in my battle with depression over the last years. When feeling down I don't see a lot of people, don't have the energy to exercise and let housekeeping slip for the same reason. When I start to get more motivation and energy, I start by cleaning thoroughly so I don't have to be bothered by the mess anymore. A clean room is a clean mind, right? But soon after I caught up on the basics, I get the flu, overloaded muscles or other physical problems and am forced to let things slip again. This is frustrating and so my motivation and energy vaporizes until I'm back where I started.

Taking it easy when I feel good is not really an option too. With things I'd like to change all around me and having the motivation and energy to get it over with, I couldn't just watch tv or play a game. So am I simply asking too much from myself? And what is too much? All I want is to run my own household, earn 150 euros a month for some luxury and spend a few hours a week with friends, in person or online. Is that really pushing my abilities too much?
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26-30
2 Responses Sep 2, 2014

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