David's Harp

I get really depressed a lot, and lately I've been going through some really dark times because I've discovered that people I valued as friends haven't been friends at all.  The loneliness has been crushing.  Then I went on holiday at a youth hostel.  I usually love youth hostels because I can hike during the day and come back to the company of other youth hostellers in the evening.  But this time there were no other hostellers, just me.  Even the youth hostel warden wasn't there, she had other things to do.  So I was in this dark old house all by myself in the middle of nowhere!  I was alone with myself and my thoughts, which was torture! I was already depressed before the holiday, but this made me feel even worse, so I had to come home.

Well, I was glad to get home.  I logged on to the computer and found 'Bible Gateway',  and typed the word 'depression' into the search button.  I chose 'The Message' as my bible translation because it is very trendy and modern, and I thought it would be more likely to have the word 'depression' in it.  Up came a reference to an incident in 1 Samuel 16 which describes the depression experienced by King Saul.  King Saul's advisers suggested that someone who played the harp well might help bring relief to Saul as he suffered these 'black moods', and David was chosen to play.  Whenever David played his harp, Saul experienced relief from his depression.

When I read this passage from the Bible, I remembered how music has helped me in the past, and I went on a walk with my personal CD player, and listened to lots of music; Bach's B minor Mass, Choral music by Victoria etc, and although I cried most of the day I felt a bit better.  I know I will always suffer from depression but I know I have music to help me, to relieve the pain. 

Tibicina Tibicina
41-45, F
2 Responses Mar 14, 2009

Yes, I hear what you're saying foxyguy, and I've read enough stories here on EP to put me off going on antidepressants. So many people's lives seem to have been screwed up by them. I know what is causing my depression, it is the lack of having someone I can be close with, not necessarily a romantic attachment, just a close friend or a soulmate. I've never been one to sit at home waiting for things to happen either, I've always gone out to this thing and that; evening classes, choirs, cycling and walking groups, church, but I've never been able to make anyone like me enough to want to be a best friend with me. Just when I think I have made a special friend, I find she doesn't like me after all. And that is what always happens. I am a very practical person so I try and solve problems, I have even read books on how to be a more popular person but nothing seems to work, I'm just unlikeable and that's that.

i read that banna's will help you this is a true a true fact they say a person should eat 2 of them a day they help with all kinds of stuff that they did not know untill the study was done its better than just about any thing you can take try it any way ok chocjoe2