Fighting the Battle From Day 1

let's see, i think i have been depressed my whole life but it really got bad when i drifted apart from high school friends. then i made new ones and had a falling-out with them. now i'm in college and don't trust anyone enough to really let them in. so my depression basically stems from loneliness. and being depressed makes me the worst person to make friends, and that fact makes me even more depressed! i do live with my boyfriend, who is awesome - my bff - so life isn't all bad, but i do miss having a support group and just people to have fun with

bouncyinlowgravity bouncyinlowgravity
2 Responses Mar 15, 2009

ofcourse. i suppose many people find it hard to be truely happy without the support of friends. i can see why you find it difficult to let people in. but at some point, you will have to let your barriers down. because if you don't. you will never find a good friend. you can't really know a good friend unless you let them in, even if it's only with the small things. start off trusting people with the small things, if they let you down, move on to the next. see how they handle it. <br />
i don't have many friends myself. i can't trust my friends because they are quite bitchy, have let me down a few times. but internet pals really help. most of my friends on the internet listen to my problems for hours. that way i get it off my chest, but if they let me down. it's just block and delete. you should try it.

How about your boyfriend's friends? Maybe you could start from there and slowly build up your confidence and trust again. Or maybe here is a good place to start. At least you won't feel so lonely *hugs*<br />
Drifting apart from highschool friends is exactly what happened to me too. It was sort of deliberate though, because I couldn't stand hanging out with them anymore. It wasn't working after all those years. I was constantly looking over my shoulder expecting some bitchy behaviour directed at me for distancing myself, but nothing more serious than talking behind my back happened. I am lucky enough to have had other friends to rely on.