Tired...

I am sitting in my bedroom trying to think of all the people that would miss me if I was gone...I can't think of that many people.  I try so hard to fit in with people, but I don't even fit in with my own family.  I long for friends but most of the time I want to be alone.  It is hard for me to understand that God would let someone who has a wonderful life and family to die from a tragic accident, but leave me here.  I don't really have anyone anymore.  I am not happy.  It seems that everyday I am crying for some reason.  I have cried out for help so many times but I have been rejected by those closest to me. 

I am tired of caring for a world that doesn't care for me.

Rowan06 Rowan06
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 20, 2009

I've been there, and many of us have. You're not alone! Hang in there; when you're hitting bottom, the only place you can go is up... <br />
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I encourage you wholeheartedly to go get some help. Medication, therapy, and changes to your lifestyle can make you completely turn around, even though that may be hard to believe now. At the very least, try not to be alone when you feel like this. Get in touch with someone you can talk to on the phone or go for a walk with. <br />
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When I was really, really depressed, and talking on the phone to a friend one day, he encouraged me by saying, "You know, this may turn out to be the worst time in your life." And he was right: it's only gotten better! You can get through this. Reach out to the people you know; you may be surprised to see that they actually do care about you, a LOT.

It has been said that we can only predict the bad things that might happen. There is no way we can predict the good things that might happen to us. May I suggest that you work on becoming your own best friend; then you will never be lonely again. I can relate to what you are saying - and am talking with the voice of experience forty years later. YOU ARE VALUABLE. You have just not found your place in the world yet. Trust that there is such a place. Live your life one day at a time - one moment at a time when you must. Focus on making the best of that moment no matter who is with you; or who is not. Your life and your happiness is worth the effort. Best of luck to you.

It's really hard for me to open up to the people closest to me because I'm afraid of that rejection. If you ever want to talk, I'm a good listener and, though I know you probably won't believe it, I do care.