Right Now

I am wondering what to do when the dark comes. It is roughly 3 am. My girlfriend and I had a fight last night, and we haven't spoken since, over twenty seven hours. I am so lonely. I have so many friends and family that I could call, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm not suicidal anymore, but sometimes I still want to hurt myself, which I haven't done in almost ten months now, when I had to get twenty stitches in my inner forearm. I try to write, but I've lost my voice, or at least it feels that way now. I feel so selfish having these feelings while people elsewhere are starving or dying of horrible disease or famine, but I can't help it. Maybe I won't even remember this site tomorrow. If  I didn't have to work I would just drink it off, but it's too late for that now.

I want to end the fight. To speak to her, but I'm not giving in this time. If she doesn't talk to me again tomorrow I'll probably end this relationship, and moving in together be damned. We'll just have to move back out from each other. Why do you people even care anyway?

xnotme xnotme
26-30
2 Responses Mar 21, 2009

i know how you feel i've recently gotten in a fight with my boyfriend.... i didnt even think about the people who had it worse off then me... all i thought about was omg did i just lose him?.. i didnt call or talk talk to anyone no matter how hard i tried to i just couldn't... i almost ended my being... anyways i hope that things with your girlfriend work out. and if you need some one to talk to you can PM me

Hurting your self wont do any good. it will just make things worse. <br />
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what was the fight about? If its something you know your right about then stay strong. <br />
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If you want to talk message me or someone else if you dont feel like talking to someone on the phone.