Tired of Everything

My third day back at the office and I have not done anything at all just looking at the computer screen. My thoughts anywhere but here. Co workers asking how I feel and I say to them, "everything is great" but is not I am tired of being here I find everything pointless. I wish I had die that day 20 years ago. I am a man I am suppose to be able to handle anything but now I am anxious for everything. Klonopin take the anxiety away but I am scared of it but at the same time I like it because it makes me feel numb. Too bad you can't overdose with it. I thought that the treatment was going to work but now I am not so sure. Why I just don't suffer a massive heart attack and die on my sleep I fit the profile. Highly stressful job, no dieting, high cholesterol, no exercise. By all means I should be dead by now. I don't feel acomplished, I feel inadequate, I've never felt comfortable with myself. I am just tired of life.
jc2009 jc2009
41-45, M
3 Responses Mar 26, 2009

I feel there is nothing worse than not only hating your position in life, but feeling too tired, anxious, and inadequate to do anything to change it. You always hear the countless stories of those people on the edge turning their life around and becoming successful and happy and you think to yourself, "Why in the hell can't I do that?". What is it about me that is incapable of changing my lot in life? There are people here that hear you and understand the sometimes inescapable tediousness of life, so don't worry, you're not alone.

You commented me that this was a great place to be with others like you. I agree. You're at this site crying out for someone to hear you. It doesn't matter who just as long as someone does. Tired is all I've been feeling lately. I'm sorry you feel so strongly about not being here but there is something worth staying for or else you wouldn't be reaching out. Stick around and figure out what that is. I'll let you know when I've figured it out for myself as well...

you need to talk i am hear