It Is a Veil

I battle depression. I can feel it coming on like a veil being lowered over my face. I know it is there clouding my judgement, my attitude and my activities, but I can not swat it away by myself. I've been surprised at how understanding others can be, but only if I name the situation myself.
Mmm Mmm
36-40, F
10 Responses Aug 28, 2006

Don't give up. It took me a long time, but, finally I found a medication that worked for me. I still have to have those long positive thoughts and talks with myself but life is totally different for me now. I hope you find your self in my position very soon. I wish you peace.

I've heaRD there are a lot of side affects with taking medication especially for men, are they true? What you take?

Risperdal causes gynecomastia in men...male breasts...and others can cause weight gain or other things...but it depends what you take.

Your self awareness with regard to your depression is rare. When you feel it coming on, as you describe, have you found anything that can lift the veil before it gets too low?

I wish people understood my depression. Apparently its all in my mind and i should be like the karate kid and mr miyagi its ***! Unfortunately for me my depression is so strong it cripples my body with pain and aching making me almost immobile. Then it attacks my mind. It tells me to tell people im fine when i know im not. It tries to rob me of my faith. Depression is like a full suit of armour for me. It weighs me down and protects me from real life. Sad but true.

You have described how depression gets me perfectly. I want to scream out to let someone know my pain, but am paralyzed by knowing how people would react. I am in a world not of my a cage with no bars and locks with no keys.


I understand exactly what u mean...always in pain and don't want to leave the house and I isolate myself....I want to cry and just break down but I grit my teeth and bare it because it's my reality and it will never change....I just have to accept it....whatever!


1 More Response

Perfect desc<x>ription of what I feel sometimes. I couldn't have described it better myself. Just have to keep going and fight another day.

I feel the same way, I appreciate this desc<x>ription. It doesn't take much to happen for my depression to just ruin my day, week, month or year. I will stay indoors in my room, I won't eat, sleep or shower until it passes. I wrote earlier that was able to go to the grocery store this morning, painful but I did it. Baby steps.

I so the same when depression sets in; debilitated by the onset, not wanting even to care for my basic needs.

Been there....:(

No you can't swat it away by yourself. See a doctor and get treatment and stop going through this.

that is such a good desc<x>ription...i find my way of thinking totally changes when i have depression, everything is so negative and i become a shadow of my former self

Yes, the distorts reality and makes it hard to function in everyday life. The only good thing is that it doesn't last and even though you may feel completely alien, the people around you will hardly notice, so tell them you are feeling under the weather, get some rest, and it will pass, I promise.

Tell your doctor...don't be bashful about it. Everyone battles depression at some point. Hugs!

Wow, what a good description...a veil clouding everything. When mine comes on my head is full of fog that affects everything I see, hear, say and do. I can not clear it and I feel like there is a heavy weight on my chest. I have been on zoloft for almost 2 years now, but sometimes it just seems like it doesn't help anymore.

Been on Zoloft...on Cymbalta stops helping the shittier your life lose things or people...a feeling of total loss and despair and loneliness and misfortunate circumstances in your life you cannot change...if it weren't for my son, I wouldn't give a flying **** about life and I wouldn't be here...making an effort to change my life...just not sure how far my effort is going and not sure I will live a long's depressing...especially not really caring enough to quit smoking so you don't end up with cancer and you probably already have it...that's what the voice in my head says...(not a Schizo-thing) but the negative thinking gets to you...especially since I was told I had inflammation on my cervix and I could get cancer, but loneliness and depression and all the crap I have been through in my life, makes me wonder how much it's worth for how much I put in and what little I got back...just feel like a **** on and I deserved better. :(

Sounds a little melodramatic....this is me at my is a struggle everyday....anti-depressants aren't always the most helpful.... sometimes you really just need someone to care.....