There Are Two Me's

Everything I've done so far in my life has been based upon a lie. More than one, hundreds. BUt that isn't the problem. The problem is that I will never connect with someone enough to let them know I've been lying. I don't want anyone to see that side of me. The person who makes up stories for attention or pity. The person that feels insignifacant is she's not special. I hate that the majority of my identity is determined by how people will percieve me. And yet I hate people. I don't want to be bothered with all the small talk and chatter. What kind of person am I? I always wait for this feeling of relief. This emotion of clarity and happiness. I wait for the day but it never comes. I'm always stuck beneath the surface. One day it seems I just may get my head above water and the next I'm sinking lower and lower to the bottom. It's a never ending rise and fall that I can never seem to break and just find level ground.

SleepingBeautyinNightmares SleepingBeautyinNightmares
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 28, 2009

I guess that is why EP is here for so we can laid bare our soul without fear of judgment. Go ahead share with us, it helps. I can't imagine where would I be without a place like this.<br />
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Also look for professional help to work out any other issues that you may have so you can be happy again.