Daily I wake up and wonder what my part in this world is. I battle with the thoughts of ending my life since I feel that I do not matter to anyone. Every friend I have ever had has abandoned me or taken advantage of me. The only thing that keeps me going is to be here for my daughter. But she will be 18 in a couple years and after that I won't have any use here on this earth.
I struggle daily, as I have for the majority of my life. I have self medicated my depression in the past and now take prescribed meds from my Dr. However it still doesn't help me on most days. I'm tired of depending on meds to make me feel better and just can't fathom the energy to go on most days.
I feel as though my life will come to an end soon as my daughter turns 18 and then no one will need me anymore. I sit and cry as I write this. To be completely useless on this earth hurts but I have to face the fact that I am just that...useless.