I Battle Depression
Hi there, I'm unable to let go of a relationship I had that ended 5 years ago. I am still in intermittant contact with this guy but find that when I see him or speak to him I can't adjust to us being 'friends'. My feelings about myself and my sense of security fluctuate according to the feedback I receive from him. He just wants me to move on so that we can be friends, but I don't know how to. I have depression and anxiety and have had for over ten years. My past feels so vivid and I am constantly being triggered into feelings of loss, guilt, fear and regret by memories. I want so much to be someone I respect but spend most of my energy trying to avoid situations that make me feel bad. I am desperately lonely, but feel fraudulant and anxious when I am with people. I see a psychologist, who is great - but very busy. I feel trapped and don't want to keep defining myself by what I can't do. Just looking for anyone whose experience resonates with this, or who wants to chat. xx
