Things I Wont Miss About This Dark Period of Depression In My Life.

* Having no pride  in life.....for example, not showering daily and  not maintaining a   clean home.
* Having no enthusiasm to spend time with friends or family.
* Feeling listless despite constant inactivity.
* Everyday being the same........weekdays no different to weekends
* Having no real physical impairment but doing less than a physically disabled person.
* Losing basic skills due to lack of use.
* Loss of confidence socially because of feeling inadequate.
* Missing the buzz that comes with achievement and productivity.
*The " party for one " I have alone  in my room.

I know there are many other reasons I could have listed........I have felt so bad for so has been about six years. There has been no change in my life except maybe a desparation to feel hope and experience some happiness.
Maybe the change was just my  perspesctive.
I look forward to bringing you the update once it's happened.  


deleted deleted
6 Responses Jul 12, 2009

I know how this feels, and I hope you have made progress.

Sounds like classic depression.. Have you seen anyone for it?

It is a constant fight once you get to this point in life just to exist let alone do anything else. First of all know you matter, you are important, and you do have a purpose in this life. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Get medical treatment if needed or try natural remedies. Change up your day to include things you do not normally do but might bring some joy to your life, even if it is in small ways. Every moment of joy counts no matter how small it may seem. Volunteer your time to help others in need. It is a joy that is beyond description. Take small steps to begin with and one day at a time. Get yourself around folks who can be supportive and understanding and less time alone. You are not alone in this world.

I can so relate. Your words could be mine. I have even gone as far as wondering if electro-shock therapy or something, would erase the memories and feelings and free me from a world of self imprisonment, where the door is wide open but I just can't walk through it.<br />
<br />
It is torture. I wish you well - I truly do

I applaud both of you!!!! Take the center stage in life and let the lights shine on your days!!!

I share those feelings as well. Once you get stuck in the abyss its hard to find the way out.<br />
<br />
The day-to-day things seem so meaningless. I've been trying to figure out how to change the way I look at things. My new plan is to fake an identity and have fun with it, it might distract me from the meanglessness of it all. Being the real me is barely human according to society's standards. "All the world's a stage" anyway.

My therapist said "fake it till you make it".