I Am So Sad About Life Right Now

I am so tired of life right now.  Sometimes I think of ending it all but I can't do that to my family.  I know it would devastate them.  Sometimes I feel stuck in the middle, that my family depends on me too much but I know they love me .. I have no doubts about that.

Looking at my life, it may look like I have it all.  I'm 36 years old and I have a great job that comes with great pay.  I am educated with 2 degrees.  I have no children, so my time and money is my own.  Also, my family and friends think of me as happy-go-lucky and independent woman and as someome who is always laughing and smiling... but that is on the outside.

On the inside, it's a different story. I feel so sad inside but I never show it.  I never tell anyone how I feel because I am able to hide my feelings so well.  No one knows how lonely I feel.  I am so alone, I have never been in a relationship and I have no children.  I live in a city away from my friends and family.  I have no social life here, all I do is work.  I feel so insecure about my looks that I feel like no one will ever love me. 

I am lonely and I don't know what to do ... but I do realize that I have to work on myself first.  I know I need to love me before anyone can really love me ... I'm not sure where to start?

itiswritten itiswritten
36-40
8 Responses Aug 17, 2009

be strong, if life were easy it wouldn't be life

wow

You are right! you need to start loving your self first and More! ONLY THEN CAN OTHERS FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU! what I'm about to say may sound like cliche but I promise, its what is in your inside (heart) (mind) that makes things beautiful on the outside. you should bring out that inner beauty within you outside. YOU are UNIQUE with a UNIQUE QUALITY. There is not another YOU. Do not worry about your outward appearance or physical attractiveness. It is NOT true! The negative mind speaks negative factors into your head even if they weren't true, making you feel inferior and keep to yourself. There is someone out there who would love you the way are, the unique YOU. Believe me or not, thats how the universe works! but also mark my words, things will fall into place only IF YOU MAKE A MOVE! No guy is going to fall out of the sky and land right under your nose. if your going to be sitting around inside your 4 walls nothings is going to happen. You have to be the right place and at the right time. If your asking me where is this "right place" and when is this "right time".. I DONT KNOW! and NEITHER DO YOU! BUT THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!! but you have to help the universe get the "Right place and Time" by helping YOURSELF! Don't have self pitty!! its a killer!! and never feel inferior of your self!! YOU ARE UNIQUE AND BEAUTIFULLY MADE!! (THATS THE TRUTH!!! AND NOT JUST PEP TALK!!.. like I even know you) <br />
SO GET OUT THERE WOMAN! AND LET THE UNIVERSE DO ALL THE WORK FOR YOU!! AND COME BACK TO ME WHEN YOUR LIVING IT TO THE FULL!!<br />
<br />
AND remember,... Life is short and you live only once.. its NOW or.... NEVER!! GO CEASE EVERY OPPORTUNITY! NEVER BACK DOWN OR NEVER GIVE UP!

I am the same my friends see another person but on the inside I'm so sad about life i'v been emo befor I just want you to know theirs people like you your not a lone

"give to yourself by giving to others". go out, get married, have children - give, give, give to others. and you live will be changed forever.

Hi. I just read your story and i feel the same way. I feel sad all the time and also i have been thinking...the worst, but i cant...my family...<br />
How do you feel now? I still feel bad but i cant tell anybody<br />
I do not know how to be happy again, energetic and friendly. Im always in bad mood.<br />
Anger issues are now my problem i think. I feel ugly and empty inside<br />
:(

donot be afriad of anything ,i see your post nowaday,but i believe you have a goodchange as the time goes by.trust lord only.lord can do everything for YOU..

Maybe you should change your life if your that unhappy.Get out more and have some fun.As far as looks,it's not what's on the outside and I beieve there's someone for everyone.Maybe if you started going out and meeting people you might find that love.