Fed Up of Getting Depression
I started getting depression when i was about 13 when my sister left home, my parents were always strict but something changed in the house. My dad was always in a really bad mood and took it out on me. without going into detail because i could be here forever, i started to self harm, all through school i managed to get away with no one finding out. My depression was constantly there, and the few friends i did have drifted away because they didnt understand. Boyfriends have come and go, and never seem to understand me. Some jobs I have had have made my depression worse, but my current one I love but going through redundancies at the moment.
I have been with my current boyfriend for about a year and a half, we live together with his mate. Up to the last few months, it has been great and for the first time ever I had not had depression for a whole year, i actually felt like I had finally beaten it. Or so i thought! At the moment my boyfriend doesnt work because he lost his job and then broke his leg. He hasnt worked now for nearly a year and been living off of his savings. I know that i cant make him find a job, but when i come home from work, it is so frustrating to get back to a messy house, he's done nothing all day and then expects me to have the energy to go out and do things when I am shattered from work.
This is putting a huge strain our relationship and I am not very happy most days which he is struggling with, but the main cause of me not being happy is getting frustrated with him for being lazy and argumentative. I dont know what else to do, I love him but he is driving me crazy and i am starting to dread coming home from work just in case we have another arguement.
I thought that this stupid depression was finally gone but this has been on and off for about 13 years now!