He Hasnt Even Left Yet......

M y fiance have been together for over 3 years, and known each other for 10 years, and in all those years we never talked about him joining the army. In July my fiance joined the army, and at first I thought I would be OK with this., and even supported his decision to join...maybe even nudged him a little.  However, I am taking it harder then I thought I would. He hasn't even left yet, but I cant help but to breakdown every time I think about him leaving. He has made sure I am set up in a lovely house, and everything else I can take care of. Now if I can just make sure to take care of myself.


I'm scared how I'm going handle the day he leaves. He leaves on November 17th. Everyday it seems I get more and more depressed. Then I feel guilty because he hasn't even left yet and I should enjoy the time I have with him till then. Then I get all confused....

We haven't set a date yet, to get married I mean, mainly because we are waiting till he comes back from his basic training. I'm not sure if that's a good idea, but its something we have decided to do. I'm scared of getting married, been there before and it was hell...he on the other hand since he never has been married he cant wait.

It seems like I'm alone in all this, nobody i know has dealt with this and so I have nobody to voice my questions and concerns to. Maybe noon of this even makes sense, and I'm sorry for wasting any-ones time by typing this. However for tonight, I'm glad I was able to get out some of what I'm feeling.



byhisideipromise byhisideipromise
2 Responses Sep 15, 2009

I am sorry for you. Sometimes life makes have find strength in ourselves, though. And sometimes we must learn to find the strength to Love ourselves without someelse always doing it for us. Spiritual independence is a hard lesson but once learned you will never feel this way again, or feel left and unprotected. I am praying for you. Much Love livingwell<br />
P.S. This life is short and what our parents did not teach us is how to make the most of this life. By creating a strong, protective, and sustainable self Love you can let him go in a healthy way.<br />
It starts by learning to Love the Breath of Life & Love within you. It also means protecting the Temple of your life and spirit because of that Love. Once you learn how to Love yourself from the inside out nothing will ever again make you afraid. Your new self Love will give you the safety, Love and Protection no other enity on Earth can give you. This will put you in control of yourself, your life and your life situations. Hugs, livingwell

sorry for that , god be with you :)