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Just Healing Now..

Hey guys! My name is Zoe, i am 14 and have been depressed since i was in grade 4,  people called me stupid, in grade 3  and under i was me. goofy. funny. fun. kind. just great. And i could be myself... Then in grade 4 i became friends with tis evil girl and we  became "best friends" she was so evil i cried in my sleep sometimes. And people didn't lik em anymore, i couldn;t be myself, i was sad, i thought i was stupid so i started working instead and fooling around,IN grade 5 i moved to a different school, Alot of people didn't like me because i was white. They were raciest. And then i went into this program that made me feel even more stupid. And i forgot how to communicate how i use to with people. In grade 6 i forgot how to say "hi" to someone Literally, like i didn't know what to do whne they said hi. In grade 7 i could say hi but they wouldn;t hear me, and i didn't have alot of friends, and i was mean and bossy and bitchy because i was so sad, and wanted to gte out of there.

In grade 8 i went to a different school, There i made friends, but it was hard, everyone that goes there admits that. And i took a hugre step up, i could half way be myself, and then i lost my virginity at 13  and people fouhnd out coz of my friend told people, and i had a ***** rep.

Now I'm in grade 9... im trying so hard, and guys somedays i just want to put a gun to my head, it's been so long, i've been depressed almost my whole life, at least thats what it feel like. I like to act, so i joined the drama  club this over club, a few other clubs, and im audtioning for the arts program at my school.

I'm a really really good actress. I did one little skript in grade 8 and my teching my amazed, and my class seemed like they left self concious aterwards. and they were like " whoa like was realy good..." so i know im good at that, im good at drums, music, i love musicals, and im going to face my fear, my goofy fun ness! will come out to new people! pray for me, send me luck! it's been so long, i want to be happy again! <3  

 

thanks guys!

Cinderella8 Cinderella8 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 16, 2009

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Same as UpandUnder said, Zoe, did you try look for support from your family? i know is kinda hard to said that... but they r the ones that you can get help, in other way... here you have us to get support, and no... you are not stupid... maybe the others are the stupids... im glad you are good actress, just do what you really love to do... >:D

Hi Zoe!



Thanks for sharing such a personal story! It sounds like you have been through a lot at a young age. Have you told your parents about how you are feeling? Maybe think about doing that if they don't already know? It sounds as though you might benefit from seeing a psychiatrist. Don't let that idea freak you out :) Most people in this area have been to psychiatrists and I doesn't mean you're crazy. It just means there may be something that needs fixing in your head, just like when things go wrong in other parts of your body. Please don't suffer in silence! Good luck!