Help I Know It's Long Help!!!!

I have no idea I think I went threw depression last winter I just ahted my life I hated my self I didn't now how I felt most of the time I would sit in class with a smile plasterd on my face but on the inside I wouldbe thinking of ways to kill my slef with out  it being painfull. I cut my slef a couple times but not to much. I hated my home life not that my parents wer bad but I would be in my room all the time and went doen to eat and went right back up to me rooom I barly ever left the house and I couldn't really be in a room with my family for more then 10 min. I listened to music trying to escape I think it help. I started having really bad thoughts of suicide and I thought I was going threw depression I didn't want to say anything to anyone beucase my mother loves me so much I really think thats the only reasom I didn't kill my self most of the time beucase I new that she would die inside and my step father was alrady going threw depresion he just got help a couple moths ago and it seems that he is so much better now. in about may and june I thought it was gonn my smile was real and I didn't really have those thoughts anymore and I was good all threw the summer time. Now I think it's coming back I am having these really bad mood swings my head hurts alote of the time and I get so pissed of and anoyed by any little thing I am always in my room and listening to more music.  dont think I am as bad as last time but I think I might be getting there. I love the winter the snow the cold everything but I think thats what makes me deppresed I dont know please help I don't Know if I should tell someone or just wait and see if it passes but I wonder if it will be to late Please just HELP

MusicLover7 MusicLover7
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 3, 2009

Okay I sort if kno how you feel. Do you remeber what made your smile real again? I sugguest you find that again. If it doesn't work, I'm pretty positve ou should get some help. And do it soon.