Since Forever.

I have battled depression since I was 7 years old. I was abused and sexually harassed. For a small amount of time people around me thought I might have been schizophrenic. I have been thought to have that & ADHD. It was really depression. I talked to things because I was lonely I guess, I honestly don't remember doing it that much. They thought I had ADHD because I couldn't focus and things, but it wasn't that, it was that I didn't care. Keep in mind this is over my life not just at 7 years old. I put on a smile for my parents and teachers and they thought I was fine. I almost turned to prostitution. I popped pills for awhile. I hurt myself. I have often wondered, am I crazy? Am I human? Would people cry if I died? Do people love me? I knew my parents loved me, but it was hard to believe them sometimes. Sometimes "I love you", doesn't make things ok. Depression is the worst thing I've dealt with and am dealing with in my life. Sure I'm only 13, going on 14 but it can still hurt. Sure this all started when I was between 6 & 7 but it still hurt. People think omg she is so over dramatic she was 7. But I am not overreacting it did hurt!! Being beaten physically and broken down mentally and screwed with emotionally hurts at any age. Some of you who read my blog and things are probably like wtf this isn't the same girl, but yes it is and yes I am. I have different personalities. I use different names sometimes. I feel as if I am more then one person. Please,  I'm really not crazy. I'm no pyscho. I'm just struggling. I want to be accepted for who I am. I want people to see my happy and depressed side and still be my friend. My best friends accept me, my parents except me, my family excepts me......I just need the world to except me.

SchizophrenicSurrender SchizophrenicSurrender
13-15, F
Feb 11, 2010