Lost....

I got blind sided by depression for the first time in my life about two months ago, and ever since I have remained in this constant battle.  My mind is always manifesting negative thoughts about my job, my love life, and myself.  I have never been one to quickly make a move toward medications, yet I am running out of options.  I find myself trying to escape reality as much as possible because everything relating to my life and rent, bills, job so on are so negative.

Amastacia Amastacia
26-30, F
1 Response Feb 12, 2010

I can relate to most of your story. I too deal with depression. I have good days and bad. I'm in a HELL of a hole. Last year, I lost my home, job and soon my vehicle. I have very little money and stay with my aunt sleeping on her living room floor. My credit is ruined and I'm behind in child support. Since the woman that raised me since I was a baby has gotten older (92), she is no longer able to take care of her finances or her home, she moved in with her son in june 2009 and EVERYTHING went down hill since this happened. Her son has turned all of his children(2) against me including my ex-wife and my son. My adopted mother is wealthy and CERTAINLY would help me out if she were in her right state of mind. Her son seems to think that I don't deserve anything since I am adopted (I was an orphan) and not "really" family, true story. When I recently talk to an aunt and uncle of mine, they told me the had spoken to him recently. They both asked me about my adopted mothers house being empty and ask me why I didn't take possession of the home. My adopted mothers' son told my aunt that he had spoken to me and that "I declined" to take the house. Truth is, I never spoke to him AT ALL and didn't know what was going on. In turn he gave the house to his stepson! There have been so many more negative things that has happened to me that just fuels my depression, and I don't have enough room here to write it all. I seriously think that I will need to be put on some meds or I wont be living much longer, it's tearing me apart. The holidays were VERY hard this year. I wasn't sure I was going to make it through. I hear that they really help, so I've got to try them before it's to late. Good luck to you.