Soo I Found Out That I Do.

I battle depression...

And didn't really see it till today. I had a feeling that there was a reason I was blahhhh somedays and other days I was happy. I know it's not bipolar disorder. At least I don't think it is.

So this came up cause today I felt guilty again. Like really guilty. I have bad guilt issues. And I linked it to my mood and then I researched it. And it came down to the fact that I battle depression. Like lots of other people. I guess I never really wanted to admit it though. But the moods I get into disappear when I start to do things that make me happy. So I found that to be really helpful. I just never thought I actually did. And now that I've accept it. I can try and get by it. I mean it'll take time, since I've been like this since I was 8. But I guess I have to get by this depression so i can enjoy my life and the people within it. I don't want to push people away when I'm in my bad mood, cause that makes me feel guilty. And then they get upset with me, so that makes me even more guilty and then I get upset and cry. That's where the whole wayy too emotional thing comes in. Which is something I havent really come to accept yet. But now that I've found out I battle depression I don't feel as confused as to why I feel the way I feel.

thank you for reading.

xXPsychochic56 xXPsychochic56
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 12, 2010

Thank youuuu. :]

You don't have to please everyone around you, it's too hard and it will only lead to more guiltyness. Try to accept what you are feeling, ask for help, it is not your fault. Lots of love