The Title Goes Here

I'm depressed from having my heart broken.

Typical? I'd like to think so. Who doesn't feel bad after their heart has been broken. But how long does it take to heal? That's what I want to know.

We Broke up last May. Yes...last May. Sence well, I've been a mess. It doesn't help that we were raising a dog. His name is Bruce. Since his birth he has became my life. A big help. BUT because we have a dog I HAVE to keep talking to my dumper. And you might be thinking why doesn't he keep the dog. Because well....Bruce has been raised by me since his birth and my ex hasnt been able to have him at his home.

SO yes we still talk..and we still have sexual relations, which doesn't help. With my depression came anxiety. Any situation with an outcome i was unsure of made my anxiety start up. With that came a minor eating disorder. I throw up sometimes..Not all the time..sometimes. Mainly in high stress and high anxiety situations. Like tonight. But ill get to that later.

So maybe a week ago my ex came over the house and we got to talking. He said he still liked m and he would like to get back together. BUT he will have some trust issues(because i did cheat on him like an ******* and a dumbass. I know this. I realize the stupidity. But i was also yonger and more ******* retarded), but he went on to say he was considering going into the armed forces and he would like for me to be there. AN D wow what a feeling that way.. really for the past week ive been so happy..no anxiety...no depression..and tonight it went away.

It all went down with one sentence. I asked. What are you doing hunny? And from there..went down. With his response being please dont call me thanot to be a **** but can you not call me that cause at this point in time we are still jsut friends. WOW much. what a let down. and from there our conversation went to me saying i would never hurt you to him saying i dont think i could ever trust you and i dont think we will be together again...and back down to me begging for another chance and him saying he doesnt think he would give it to me. I feel...horrible. I literally threw up in the shower. It hit me so hard. I dont know how to handle it. So i came here to spill it all...so i could vent and poissbly stop cryin and go to sleep

Seyon Seyon
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 12, 2010

This guy is dangling you along like a puppet on a piece of string, he is probably doing it as an act of revenge and you are allowing yourself to be treated like that. You made a mistake and nothing can be done about what has happened but now, you are still in touch with each other. This tie needs to be broken at the price of your happiness and dignity. You have got to stop putting yourself through all this pain and stay away from him so you can heal because this is only sending you on a path to self destruction, no ex should have a hold over you like the way he has and the way you are allowing him to. Call it quits, do something about the dog, if thats part of the problem and move on with your life once and for all, its about time things changed by the sounds of it.

It took me a very long time to get over the first person I was in love with, years even. And he was bad for me. He didn't treat me like I deserved to be treated, and it sounds like you're in the same boat. What helped me was finally making myself a priority and realizing how many people cared about me, that I deserved to be treated better and would never again settle for less. That love feeling can trick us into putting up with way too much...from them, and sometimes from ourselves (I turned into a ***** while I tried to save a doomed relationship, and that wasn't good for either him or me).<br />
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If you cheated on him, there may have been good reason for it. It sounds like he could never give you the love, respect, and honesty you deserve...and maybe you've been having trouble being honest with yourself, too? I know I was.<br />
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I promise you, you can get through this. Be good to yourself. And, if it's best for you, cut him out of your life. The dog is living with you and therefore yours. Period. Take care of *you* so that you'll be happier and find a love who treats you well... (it'll be better for both of you, no doubt).<br />
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Good luck! And you're definitely not alone.