Half Life

I am depressed. Some days are better than others, but I don't know what it feels like to be happy anymore. I consider a good day a day where I don't snap at anyone or cry. My mother hates that I am on medicine, she thinks it makes me weak. My husband is scared of me, I know. My biggest fear is that I will come out of this depression and realize that he isn't the one for me. I'm scared. I could win a million dollars and not even want to get out of bed to claim the prize.

TiffMH TiffMH
9 Responses Feb 13, 2010

I completely understand how you feel. I have been married for about 4 months and lately my depression has been worse. I am afraid my husband is going to wake and realize that he cant handle my depression anymore. The one peice of advice I can give you is to ignore everyone who looks down on taking medication!! Medication can help with making you get out of bed everyday, keep you from snapping or crying, and hopefully start to make you feel better. Just know that you are not alone and there are people that want to help. I am new to this site but from what I have seen so far it is a place to express how you are feeling and find others who can give you love, support and advice. Like others said before me, just keep breathing!

Tiff.. I dealt with my bit of depression. Mostly related to a going nowhere marriage and a new baby. Be strong. Laugh. Smile. Light does amazing things for your brain. Take a walk in the park. Fresh air and sun will feel good. <br />
Dont be afraid to laugh and smile. I thought nothing in my life was worth laughing about so I would stop myself as I started. <br />
Find stories here that warm your heart and read them often. Watch movies about good things... love or friendship and soak it in. Dont make the mistakes I did by internalizing why I couldnt have what they have. Its a movie, a story, written for enjoyment. <br />
Find things that warm you. I have a feeling you lost something that made you happy. Im not a therapist but I think something triggers depression. <br />
Always take time to breath. Meditation breathing. Type out, on here, how things make you feel. Those of us that care will comment. Dont ever feel alone. You are in good company here. <br />
I am glad I found your story and would like to help you.

By the way, I think I should let u know that I am taking on medicine too! See?u are not alone<br />
Donot be scared, start with sth simple,...but remember to do sth everyday....It will be much easier after just one week :)

Tiff, I was depressed for more than two years. I did not take any medicines, I drank too much alcohol every night, cried at my bed, slept for over 15 hours a day, scratched myself with knife! can u imagine that? It was my hell, in that time I was only 19 years old. my best times vanished just cuz I didnt try to help myself, I didnot want to. I thought that is the real life and I am the victim.....<br />
Donot do the same mistake please...we are going to help u, arent we guys?<br />
But u need to be the first person who helps u! Start to do sth new...Start to change and as u go on write them in EP, it can make u feel much better. I know it is going to be extremely hard but u have to do that tiff, remember I donot want to see u losing ur great time just like I did...<br />
Some of my suggestions: Change ur photo with sth positive! please do this for me as ur friend:), read inspirational books, go Jogging, drink more water and vitamins (esp. Vit B), listen to techno music, dance more, change the color of ur room, turn on more lights....<br />
Hugs Hugs

Your not alone in battling depression. I know it took a lot of courage to post your story here. I know you don't want to feel this way, haven't met a depressive who as, and everything you have said about your family seems to happen too often. They just don't understand, it happens and its just as scary to us.<br />
<br />
Keep taking your meds. Hopefully they found what works for you and it makes the day easier to get through. It takes time but things will get better. Take this time to get ahead of this and get healthy. Your among friends her on EP. Share what you feel you are comfortable with.

at the same time your younger than i. therefore many more advantages to time in your head for positive training. lordy lore, I need it to. everyother day to.

ya I have a lot of days like that,thinking of going on the meds.What will happen to me on them ?I don't know.

I've not been able to get excited about anything. It sucks, I feel like I'm completely flat.

I honestly know how that feels.<br />
We have our good days and we have our bad days, and mine our mostly bad.<br />
My family hates I'm on medicine as well, but they know I need it just to drag myself out of bed in the morning.<br />
My family and I are finally moving out of our crappy falling apart house into a new better one, yet I don't even care where I don't feel an ounce of anything. Not joy or excitemeant.<br />
I'm scared i'm just a big dissappointmeant to everyone around me.