It Began In University

I would take myself off to bed and I would stay there for a week thinking that i was a lazy student.

I qualified in Law and every few tears the same thing would happen again and this time I would put it down to the pressures of the job.About six or severn years ago,i went through a divorce i lost my mother to cancer and i was also heavily in debt

To cut a long story short i had a breakdown and i tried to commit suicide which led to me spending eight months in physc hospitals..I was discharged and moved to lowestoft on the east coast of england having spent my entire life in London it was a bit of a culture shock.Unfortunatly I had a relapse and we admited to hospital for two months.

In the four years since i was given the diagnosis of recurrent depressive disorder which means i keep getting depression.I have tried both in taking a CBT course and learning a counselling course.Six months ago I tried to commit sucide but after taking the pills i panicked and called thr samairitans.

The last six months have not been easy and i feel low at the moment,i have also started self harming again which im gutted about  

littlepieces littlepieces
61-65, M
2 Responses Feb 19, 2010

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you. I hope the clouds lift a little for you today

Hey guy, I just read yer story damn I feel for you. brand new here I have never been instututionalized i have a fear of shrinks hospitals and the like, bad fear. brand new to this site I felt i had to do something to help myself and chat is OUT! Personally I have delt with loss loss and more loss. when I was an electrician I discovered that I could breifly grab a wire and tell if it was live and recive no ill effects from it but I had to question the sanity of doing so. It's just these sort of personal actions that I am afraid of. Also an active cave explorer. I really don't want to do anything stupid so I'm taking steps by joining a group like this to prevent it, If theres anything you would like to share or just plain small talk I will be glad to be there for you.