Family...

  I honestly think that this whole depression thing is big part of my whole extended family.  I have a few aunts, and cousins that suffer with it.  I think the biggest one in my life that suffers from it, is my mum.  I am all she has that she can lean on, and I hate to see her struggle in all parts of her life.  I try to help and it brings me down too.  I feel like a trying to help a drowing person with cement shoes on.

  Case in point.  I called her today and said that I was just checking in.  And she got real ugly and said "Well, it is ashame that worry about your mother so much you feel you HAVE to call everyday and check on me".  WHOA.  Where did that come from????  After that I did not have much to say.  What she does not know I am super struggling myself to keep sain.  I have two sons and a husband that counting me.  I am fighting with everything I have to keep from drowing.  On days like this, I think what is the point you know??  Why should I even bother?? Then I think about what I have to loose.  My sons and my husband.  Who recently he and I reconnected and it has been nice for someone to throw a life line to me.  I am looking up out of the water, at this angel who was sent here to help. 

MissGif MissGif
36-40, F
Feb 25, 2010